


Dancer in the Dark

by ddpoweredbycoffee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BAMF Castiel, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mostly Smut, My First Destiel Fanfic, Smut, Smutty, Top Castiel, Top Dean, Versatile Destiel, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:06:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2661428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddpoweredbycoffee/pseuds/ddpoweredbycoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Dean is a very well-known, high-class exotic dancer and Cas, an extremely successful business man, gets dragged to the club by a group of colleagues as a joke. They buy Cas a lapdance from Dean, which awakens something within Cas he never knew was there…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dancer

“Oh, God, what am I doing here?” Castiel asked himself under his breath.

All he could see was blackness. The blindfold covering his eyes pressed firmly against the bridge of his nose. His feet stumbled across the floor as he was dragged down what he guessed was a hallway as he listened to the laughter of his colleagues and felt the thump of the dance music in his chest. What was he doing here? How did he let his coworkers talk him into this? When they invited him to hangout for the night he never expected to be taken to a strip joint.

He wasn’t ready for this. Castiel had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl he had been with for two years. To be honest, there was no real chemistry between the two, but it was better than being alone. She decided that she wanted something more, though. Something he couldn’t give her. Now, newly single and barely promoted to Chief Financial Officer of the company, Cas figured it was time to make a fresh start and really live his life. He just didn’t expect to start at a strip club.

“Hey, you guys…I don’t think this is a good idea,” Cas protested has his coworkers continued to drag him down the hallway. He was surprised to smell some rather expensive perfumes and cologne. From how his colleagues had described the place to him, this seemed to be a higher-class club. “The dancers here are definitely top-shelf, boss,” Gabriel had assured him. “They are the best around.”

“Here we are,” Cas heard Gab say.

Cas was then dropped down into a plush, leather chair. Judging by its texture, it was fine Italian leather—very expensive.

“Wow,” Cas breathed. He liked leather and had a knack for identifying varying regions and grades.

“Sit tight, buddy, and keep your blindfold on! You won’t be alone for long!” Balthazar’s words slurred as he spoke. “We got you a good one! The best!” The dirty blond had already had a few drinks at the bar they were in before. He was the one that suggested the strip club.

“Forget what’s-her-face! You need a night out with the boys!” Balthazar had boomed after his third shot of vodka. He then thumped a fist against his chest. “You need to get that testosterone pumping in your veins again! Remind yourself that you are a living, breathing, hot-blooded man!”

Cas had also had a few shots when he agreed to come, but now siting in a dark room, he was beginning to have second thoughts. He wasn’t ready for this. He had never even been to a strip club before! What was he supposed to do? Did he need to talk? What should he do with his hands? The questions swirled around in his head as he heard the door click close.

It was quiet inside the room except for the muffled booming music just outside the door. Cas’ heart thumped inside his chest. _What am I doing here?_ He heard the faint sound of music within the room that gradually got louder and louder. He then heard the gentle sound of bare feet padding across a hard surface in front of him. The footsteps were coming towards him.

Castiel’s breathing grew heavier. He felt hands on his knees at first then they trailed up his Armani suit-clad thighs. The hands were larger and stronger than he had anticipated. They ran up his chest to his shoulders as the mystery dancer used a knee to separate Cas’ legs and stepped between them. Firm thigh muscles pressed into Cas’ legs, muscles also much harder and larger than expected. Not daring to move an inch, Cas gripped the arms of the leather chair to control his urge to reach out to the mystery dancer. One of the strong hands massaged his neck and laced its fingers up into his hair. A finger then slipped underneath the blindfold, and gently pulled it up and off. Cas sucked in a breath. He was face-to-face with a bare torso. The exposed skin glowed in the light of the hot pink neon that outlined the short, black lacquer runway in front of him and the soft yellow lights in the corners behind him. The beautifully tanned skin stretched tightly over a thick ripple of abdomen muscles. This didn’t alert Cas. There were many built women. However, the large bulge in the tight leather boy-shorts told him otherwise. Wide-eyed, Cas looked up into bright green eyes encircled by long lashes. The man standing before him pulled his soft, pink lips into a smile.

“Hi,” he murmured in a low voice. “I’m Dean.”

Cas could barely breath. _A man?!_ _And not just a man, but a Greek God, no less. What kind of strip club did those guys bring him to!?_

Dean placed his hands on each arm of the chair and bent down to bring his face to Cas’. The soft light caught the gold highlights in his short, dark hair and Cas could make out a light spray of freckles across the man’s creamy smooth face.

“What’s your name, handsome?” he asked Cas, a small smile still on his lips.

“Ca-Castiel.”

“Castiel,” Dean purred. “That’s an interesting name.”

Dean then arched his back, bent over, in front of Cas. Over the man’s shoulder Cas could see how the motion had accentuated the shape of his ass that stuck out behind him. He felt his face grow hot.

“Th-There’s been a mistake,” Cas managed to force from his throat. He started to get up from his chair, but he felt a strong hand press against the middle of his chest, keeping him in his seat.

“There’s been no mistake, Cas,” Dean said softly. “Now sit back and relax…Let me take care of you…”

With that, Dean stood up, exposing the length of his lithe, muscular body. Cas couldn’t help but drink in the sight of him. He was gorgeous, unearthly so. He watched as Dean gently climbed onto him, straddling his hips with his strong thighs. Cas’ heart thundered in his chest. _What am I doing!? I’m not…not…_ His thoughts were cut short as Dean loosened Cas’ tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. Dean smiled at the small area of exposed chest. He slipped his hands under Cas’ jacket, pulling it down from his shoulders. Dean found himself staring down at the now disheveled man. He would be fired in an instant if his boss walked in right now. They had a strict _No Touching_ policy—they weren’t that kind of club. Dean felt himself struggling, however. _What a beautiful man._ Dean met the gaze of the vibrant blue eyes looking up at him. He then arched his back again and pressed himself closer. Their noses almost touched. Cas took in a sharp breath as Dean grinded against him, gyrating his hips as he did so. Cas felt his groin begin to heat up. _Oh my God._ He had never done anything like this in his life, especially with another man! But something was awakening deep within him. He couldn’t help himself. He let his eyes flutter close and leaned his head back. Dean smiled in triumph.

“That’s it, Cas,” he whispered.

He took Cas’ hands in his own and brought them to his hips. It felt so good to have his hands on him. Cas’ eyes shot open. Dean continued to grind against him in rhythm with the music as Cas savored the feel of the other man in his hands. He dared to let his hands slide down just a little until they sat at the top of Dean’s ass. Dean stared down at him through his long lashes and bit his bottom lip. He arched his back more, pressing his ass into Cas’ hands. A small moan escaped Cas’ throat. His erection was pressing hard against his pants, and he was sure Dean noticed. In fact, Cas noticed that the bulge in the tight boy-shorts had grown and was now pressing firmly against his own. This caused Cas to let another moan escape.

Dean then gracefully slipped off Cas’ lap and spun around, bringing his ass into Castiel’s view. He pressed his ass back and gently sat into Cas’ lap. He then stretched back against Castiel’s chest and brought his arms up and around the back of Cas’ neck. Dean arched his back, pressing his ass harder into the businessman’s groin.

“You can touch me,” Dean whispered into his jawline. “I want you to touch me, Cas.”

Castiel reached his hands around Dean and trailed them along his firm torso. He relished the feel of warm, smooth skin under his fingers as they followed each ripple of muscle. He slid his hands down to the top of the leather boy-shorts. Cas liked leather, and _fuck_ , did he like it on Dean! He slipped his fingertips under the waistband, following the deep V of his hipbones. He felt Dean smile against his jaw.

“Oh, really?” he breathed.

He lifted his hips up, which sent Cas’ hands further down the leather shorts. Dean rotated his hips and gave a throaty moaned. _Fuck._ The pressure in Castiel’s pants was becoming more and more painful. Just as Cas was granted permission to continue down into the leather shorts, there was a knock at the door. Apparently, he was over his time limit. To Cas’ dismay, Dean slowly lifted himself off of him. The dancer gave a light chuckle at the sad look on his face. He bent down to give the businessman a soft kiss on the cheek.

“That was lovely, Cas,” he murmured against his ear, causing a shiver to course through Castiel’s body. “I wish we had more time.”

Cas watched as Dean climbed the small steps up to the short runway and disappear into the blackness. He continued to stare where Dean had disappeared when the door to the room opened. Balthazar, Gabriel, and the others poured in, laughing hysterically.

“How did you like your dance, Cas?” Gabriel asked. “Was it everything you expected it to be?”

The others howled with laughter. Cas just shook his head and stood up the best he could while hiding his still rock hard erection. The others looked over his disheveled appearance.

“Looks like he did quite a number on you, eh boss?” Balthazar asked, his words slurring more than before. “Looks like you enjoyed yourself.”

Gabriel disappeared from the group and walked down the hall. Cas shook his head again as he rebuttoned his shirt and straightened his Armani jacket and tie. As he buttoned his jacket, a small square of paper fell to the floor. He bent down to grab it, and then unfolded it. Written neatly on its surface was the name Dean Winchester and a phone number. Cas couldn’t stop the wide smile that spread across his face. Balthazar stared at the paper from the doorway.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked in disbelief.

Before Cas could answer, Gab returned to the group with a big grin.

“This _is_ a classy place,” he remarked. “Cas’ dancer refused to let me pay him for his…services.”

Cas shoved the paper into his pocket. He felt his face grow hot as he watched the realization in Balthazar’s face.

“Wow, way to go, Cas!” he cheered.

Cas playfully scoffed at the man as he pushed his way through the doorway. Cas walked out of that room a different man than he was when he entered. He rubbed his fingers against the soft paper in his pocket and smiled. It was time to make a fresh start.

 


	2. Falling

Cas stared down at the small square of paper in his hand. _Dean Winchester._ That was his name. It had been two weeks since that night, but the memory of him was still so vivid it seemed like it had happened only a few hours ago. His earthy scent still clung to Castiel, and his skin still seemed to ghost across his fingertips. He leaned his head back into his leather chair situated in his spacious living room. The leather was a far better grade than the chair in the club, but it still helped him imagine that he was back there. His body ached to feel the weight of the other man on top of him, the sensation of his strong hands on his chest…in his hair…

“Jesus Christ! Get ahold of yourself, Castiel!” he spat aloud to himself.

_You were in a two-year relationship with a woman—a woman! You don’t swing the other way!_ He took a long drink from the glass in his hand, and the fine scotch warmed his throat, the way good scotch should. He suddenly noticed how dark the room had become since he first sat down. The only light in the room came from the New York City lights outside his floor-to-ceiling windows in his top floor apartment. _I don’t swing that way._ Yet here he was, sitting in a dark room staring at the dancer’s name while fantasizing about their brief time together and contemplating picking up his phone. _Fuck._

Castiel’s eyes fell to his phone on the crystal coffee table in front of him. Never had such a small object instilled such fear. _Just call him! That’s why he gave you his number in the first place!_ Cas shook his head. _Oh, yeah? Then what? What the hell am I supposed to say to him?_ He took another drink. Great, now he was arguing with himself. Boy, did he have it bad.

“Fine!” he grumbled as he sat up from his chair to grab his phone.

Cas tapped the numbers from the paper into his phone and brought it to his ear. _Ring._ Cas’ heart began to speed up. _Ring._ His breathing grew faster. _Ring._

“This is Dean,” a velvety, low voice answered.

Cas felt his breath catch in his throat at the sound. What a beautiful sound.

“Hello?” the voice asked into the silence.

“D-Dean, hi, um, this is Castiel. Th-The man from the club a couple of weeks ago,” he stuttered. “I was blindfolded.”

“Castiel,” the voice purred his name. Cas’ eyes fluttered at the sound. “I was hoping you would call.”

“G-Good,” Cas managed. _Common, man! Knock it off!_

“How are you, Cas?” Dean murmured dreamily.

Cas cleared his throat and took a deep breath before speaking.

“I’m fine. How are you doing?” _Dumb._

“I’m much better now that you called, darling,” Dean cooed.

Cas gave a nervous chuckle. He took another quick drink from his glass.

“I, uh, I wanted to ask you…” he hesitated. _Do it, Cas! You’ve already come this far! Do it!_

“What, Castiel?” Dean asked softly.

“I was wondering if you’d like to join me for dinner sometime,” Cas finally forced out. “Maybe Friday night?”

Cas heard a musical giggle on the other side of the phone call that made his cheeks flush.

“Of course, I’d love to,” Dean replied. “Pick me up at eight?”

“Y-Yeah, yes, yes I will,” Cas’ head was spinning. “Where can I find you?”

“Actually, I’ll meet you there, sweetheart,” Dean answered rather quickly.

Cas shook off the abrupt answer and proceeded to give Dean directions to a wonderful French restaurant downtown.

“It’s a date,” Dean murmured. “I’ll see you, then, Castiel.”

Cas heard the other line immediately go silent. He hung up his phone and tossed it onto the coffee table with a loud clack. _Whew!_ He had done it! He had a date! Cas then downed the rest of the scotch in his glass. He had a date.

 *          *            *            * 

It seemed like an eternity before Friday night finally arrived. All week Cas was nervous and fidgety. Earlier that morning Gabriel finally asked him what was wrong with him. Cas, who was a terrible liar, chose to confess instead.

“What? You asked the dancer to dinner?” Gab gaped at him from the open door. “How much will that cost you? The price for the dance was a fortune!”

Oh. Cas hadn’t even thought about that. How much would it cost him? Dean was, in fact, an exotic dancer who probably didn’t grace patrons with his company for free.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask,” Cas answered.

Gab rolled his eyes and closed the door to his office. He sat in a chair in front of him.

“You have to be careful, boss. He doesn’t do these types of things for free…or cheap,” he whispered. “Just be smart about this, okay?”

All Cas could do was nod. He felt that the “being smart about this” ship had already left the harbor.

But now it was Friday night, and Cas was sitting in the posh dining room of the French restaurant. There was no going back now. He glanced at his watch. It was a half passed eight. _He’s late. Maybe he won’t even show up._ He sipped from his glass of red wine, hoping to calm his nerves a bit. As he went to place his glass on the table, the host approached his table.

“Here you are, sir,” he said graciously with a thick English accent and a soft bow.

Cas looked up into a pair of eyes the glimmering color of emerald, sparkling in the light of the morning sun like a fresh sheen of morning dew. Flecks of gold glittered in the narrow irises as the pupils expanded into deep pools in the warm candlelight.

“Hello, Castiel,” Dean greeted him. A small smile lay across his supple, pink lips.

Cas politely stood up from his seat. He then took a quick look at the rest of the other man; he couldn’t help himself. The tailored designer jeans shaped his silhouette perfectly and the black button-up under his leather jacket was unbuttoned at the top to allow a small peek of his smooth chest. He easily could’ve been mistaken for a high fashion model. Dean had a wonderful taste in clothing and he knew how to wear it. Cas blushed as his eyes rested briefly on his legs, remembering how those thighs gripped his hips that night.

“Dean, I’m glad you came. Please,” Cas gestured his hand to his seat, welcoming him to sit.

            They both sat down in unison. After settling himself, Dean looked up with a smile, which instantly fell in awe. His eyes were blue. Not the ordinary sky blue, or the color of little flowers that spring up by the side of the road. His eyes were blue like the sea, crystal clear blue- shimmering and crashing and churning. Looking into his eyes you could hear the waves falling against the shore, see the foam flying into the air. His eyes were blue like the sky right before the sun disappears- dark rich indigo, with specks of wild colors here and there. His eyes were blue like that warm wool sweater that you put on when the air gets that chill- comfortable, warm, and familiar.

            “It’s good to see you again,” Cas broke Dean’s thoughts.

            Dean lightly shook his head as he scrambled to compose himself. He stretched his lips back into their seductive smile.

            “It’s good to see you again, too, darling,” he cooed.

            Cas smiled anxiously. The waiter came by the table to pour a glass of wine for Dean and to take their orders. Afterwards, he walked away as if he was drifting on a cloud. Dean turned back to Cas.

            “How have you been, Castiel?” he asked in a low voice. “Has anything exciting happened lately?”

            “Um, well, I just finished up a company merger last week that I had been working on for the last few months,” he answered. He had to admit, he was so glad that was over.

            “That’s so interesting, sweetheart,” Dean murmured. His hand reached out for Cas’ on the table. He gently took it in his own and looked at him through his lashes.

            “You don’t have to do that.”

            “Excuse me?” Dean was caught off guard by the statement.

            “I said you don’t have to do that, you know, act that way with me,” Cas said hesitantly. “You don’t have to pretend to be interested in my work. Even I find it incredibly boring sometimes.”

            Dean withdrew his hand from the table, suddenly feeling slightly foolish. He was the very best in New York City and had used these techniques many times. It was his go to routine with his clients, but now he wasn’t sure what to do.

            “What would you like to talk about, then, Castiel?” Dean asked quietly, without such a thick layer of honey in his voice.

            Cas was surprised at the sound of Dean’s voice when he wasn’t acting. It was low and gravely and…real. Cas smiled, pleased with the welcoming sound.

            “Well, I’d like to know more about you, if you don’t mind,” Cas replied. “How did you become a dancer?”

            Dean stared at Cas. His unbelievably blue eyes were so unnerving now as he searched for something clever to say. But he couldn’t think of anything. He didn’t know how to respond.

            “I-I, uh, dropped out of school and moved away from home when I was young,” Dean blurted out. _Ah! What are you doing!_ “It was the only way I knew how to take care of myself.”

            Cas’ eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

            “What happened?” he asked.

            Dean began fidgeting under the table. In the past when he had been asked such questions, he had been able to easily deflect them and return the conversation to the client. Dean was finding it extremely difficult to do so now, however. _What’s wrong with you!?_ Before he could stop himself, he told Cas how he had lost his mother to a fire when he was about six years old, which left him and his brother, Sam, with his father. When he grew older, he wasn’t doing well in school, so he dropped out and moved away. He continued to tell Cas about his travels across the country working as a handyman before picking up work as an exotic dancer. His reputation grew and solidified over the years and brought him to New York City, where he was now the most widely known dancer on the East Coast.

            “Wow, that’s quite a story,” Cas commented, pouring Dean another glass of wine. Dean hadn’t even realized that he had finished the first one. “Why New York City?”

            Dean shrugged his shoulders, feeling a little less anxious now that the wine was lightly flushing his cheeks.

            “After bouncing across the country, it seemed like a decent place to stay, at least for a while,” he answered. “It’s very different from Kansas, which is most important.”

             Cas tilted his head to one side at the comment, but didn’t press further. Judging by the other man’s tense demeanor, he felt as though he may have already gone too far.

            “Does your brother live near by?” Cas attempted to change the subject somewhat.

            Dean’s mood immediately brightened.

            “No, Sammy’s in California,” Dean told Cas. “Sammy was always the smart one. He started his first year at Stanford in the spring. He’s studying to become a lawyer.”

            Cas smiled at the apparent pride in his voice. Dean blushed.

            “I can tell you’re proud of him,” Cas commented. “I would be, too.”

            Dean sipped his wine while keeping his eyes locked on Cas. The most he had ever discussed with his clients was his name, and now he was here spilling his guts to a complete stranger! He found him incredibly easy to talk to, though. 

            “What about you?” Dean asked as he set his glass on the table. “What’s your story?”

            Cas told Dean that he had a sister name Hannah, but hadn’t seen her or his parents for a long while. He moved to New York after college to start with a prominent company in town. Cas was pleased to see Dean’s shoulders relax as he spoke. The rest of their dinner went incredibly smooth after the initial awkwardness. Cas told stories about his wild days in college that made Dean throw his head back in full-body laughter. He was mostly delighted by the fact that Dean’s smiles had finally reached his eyes, which gave him little creases on the sides of his eyes.

            After their delicious dinner, Castiel paid the bill and walked out the door with Dean into the crisp, fall air. He pulled his own leather jacket closer to him against the chill. He liked leather.

            “That was lovely,” Cas said as they strolled down the dark sidewalk into the night. “I’m glad you came.”

            Suddenly, Dean grabbed Castiel by the collar of his jacket and threw him into a nearby alleyway. Castiel barely stopped himself from falling to the ground.

            “Dean? What—”

            Dean grabbed his collar again and shoved him to the wall, knocking the wind out of Cas. His body pinned the businessman against the wall, and his face was so close Cas could feel his breath on his cheeks. His green eyes burned hot.

            “Dean,” he squeaked.

            Dean brought his face even closer. His breath was now against his mouth. Castiel’s heart thumped in his chest. _What’s going on?_ Dean then loosened his grip on Cas’ jacket and pressed his lips against his in a firm kiss. He coaxed his mouth open with his tongue. Understanding that he was no longer in danger, Cas submitted and gave in to exploring Dean’s mouth with his own tongue. His breathing was fast and heavy.

            “Castiel,” Dean murmured into his mouth. “What have you done to me?”

            Cas weaved his fingers into the other man’s hair and gave it a little tug as he deepened their kiss. Dean frantically unbuttoned Cas’ shirt, his mouth still locked with his and exposed Cas’ muscular, tan torso. He broke their kiss momentarily to stand back and admire the sight of Cas, hot and bothered, with messy hair and an unbuttoned shirt. He continued to drink him in, his eyelids heavy with lust. Cas felt himself hardening in his jeans.

Dean brought his lips down to Cas’ neck as his hands then groped over his torso until he found Cas’ belt. He ripped it open with strong, expert fingers while sucking and licking the tender flesh over his collarbone. A moan escaped Cas’ throat as Dean slipped his hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs. Dean moaned in response, and wrapped his hand around Cas’ thick, rock-hard cock.

“Oh, Dean,” Cas breathed.

Dean smiled against his neck and started stroking his hand up and down, sending electric currents through Castiel’s body. Cas’ breath caught in his throat as he gyrated his hips forward. Dean brought his eyes up to his face and grinned wider. Cas’ eyes were scrunch close and his mouth hung open in a moan. Dean relished pleasuring the other man. He loved getting him so hot, just like that night. He pumped his hand faster, and Cas arched his back against the change in rhythm. He opened his eyes. Their eyes locked and burned with desire.

“Let me take care of you, Castiel,” Dean murmured. “Let me take care of you…”

Cas’ body tensed as he came closer and closer to the edge, and he couldn’t hold on any longer. He threw his head back and cried out as hot cum gushed from his cock and up onto his stomach. Dean’s own erection pressed painfully against his jeans as he watched Cas melt into his hand. Cas’ breathing was ragged as a warm glow flowed through his body. He opened his eyes, his vision still slightly blurry. Dean pulled his hand from Castiel’s jeans and brought his fingers to his mouth. Cas stared as Dean licked the sticky mess.

“You taste good,” Dean said around his fingers.

Cas smiled and Dean brought his lips to his in a deep, sweet kiss.

“I hope to see you again soon, Cas,” Dean whispered against his ear.

He pulled away from the other man and started walking down the alley toward the street; glancing over his shoulder to admire the mess he had left Cas in. He then turned the corner and disappeared out of sight. Cas took a deep, calming breath and leaned his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes in bliss and smiled. _Holy fuck._


	3. Falling Deeper

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. Cas and Dean had spent more time together, but he hadn’t seen the dancer in a while. Their dates stayed pretty PG, nothing even close to what happened after their first one. Cas just enjoyed Dean’s company, and he didn’t realize how lonely he had been until he met him. It was different, though, than his relationship before. He wasn’t just afraid to be alone again. He wanted to be with Dean, and if he could, he would always be there with him.

Cas didn’t know what this was, but it burned bright like a sun that threatened to burst free. It grew stronger through the nights Dean had spent with him; when they would talk well into the night, holding each other as they fell asleep. As gorgeous as the dancer was, Cas never pushed him further. He just wanted to be near him. Every little thing seemed to remind him of Dean. He would see something simple lying around his apartment, like a T-shirt Dean wore the day before, and he would always come to mind. He’d remember the way Dean’s eyes crinkle in the corners when he would make him smile and how it always caused color to rise to his cheeks. When they were apart, Cas sat in his leather chair, wrapping the memory of Dean around himself. He could imagine Dean whispering sweet things in his ear with his deep voice as they strolled through Central Park on a sunny afternoon, arm in arm. It didn’t take Castiel long to realize how much he wanted to be with Dean. There was a tenderness between them that he had never felt with anyone else before. It was intoxicating, and he knew he’d do anything for this dancer because there’s nothing better than being with him and seeing him smile. Nothing better in the world.

As strong as Castiel’s feelings were for Dean, however, something tickled in the back of his mind about the other man, like he was holding himself back—keeping a safe distance from Cas. And now, after weeks of trying to contact Dean, he knew something was wrong. Cas would call, but he was always sent straight to voicemail. He also tried the club a few times, but no one had seen Dean in a few days. Cas felt himself grow more and more desperate as each idea fizzled out to nothing. He had to find Dean…just to know he was all right.

Cas walked through the double doors to the club once more, hoping his last idea would lead to something. Music boomed in his ears as his eyes adjusted to the dim, colorful lights. It was a busy night.

“Hey, Castiel! How are ya?” Benny, the large bear-of-a-man bartender yelled

from the bar.

The club had become a very familiar place for the businessman since meeting Dean. The dancer invited him to watch his shows quite often and Cas was happy to oblige. Cas gave the bartender a hopeful smile as he walked over to him.

            “Hey, Benny. I was hoping you’d be here. You’ve been gone awhile.” he said quietly and sat down on a stool.

            Benny set a couple of glasses in front of him and poured a dark honey colored liquid into them. From the sharp smell Cas could tell it was whiskey.

            “Yeah, I took a short vacation, you know, to recharge the batteries,” Benny said with a big grin. “So, what’s on your mind, brotha? I can tell by the look on your face that you’re not here to talk about my date with Brazilian twins.”

            Cas clinked his glass to Benny’s and shot the whiskey back into his throat, wincing slightly at the burn as it went down. Benny did the same.

            “No, I’m not, Benny,” he replied as he poured him another. “I was hoping you could help me find Dean. He hasn’t been here the last few days, and I’m getting a little worried.”

            “Find Dean?” Benny guffawed. “What are you talking about? He’s been here every night for the last few weeks. In fact, he just left about an hour ago.”

            Cas nearly choked on his second shot of whiskey. He coughed and swallowed the best he could. He stared up at Benny.

            “What?” he retorted.

            “Yeah, he’s been here,” the bartender said with a shrug. “Has he not been talking to you?”

            Cas squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. Despite his external response, he was so relieved. Dean was okay, or at least, he had been seen.

            “Benny, I need you to tell me where I can find,” he stated slowly. “I’ve been trying to call him for the last few weeks without success, and up until now, everyone had been telling me that he hadn’t been here the last few days. I just need to figure out what’s going on and make sure he’s okay.”

            Benny narrowed his eyes at Cas for a moment, but relaxed after he realized that there was nothing sinister in Cas’ blue eyes. He could tell that Cas was a worried wreck. Benny sighed and grabbed a notepad below the counter. He scribbled an address then ripped the top page from the stack. He handed it to Cas.

            “You didn’t get this from me,” the bartender whispered.

            Cas nodded enthusiastically as he pulled some cash from his wallet and plopped it down onto the counter.

            “Thanks, Benny. I owe you one.”

            Cas then turned and practically ran out the door.

           

            The drive there was fairly short considering the congested traffic, and Cas parked out in front a tall apartment building in the posh side of the city. He hopped up the front steps in long strides to the double front doors. He tried the door handles. Locked. He turned to the list of tenants posted to the right of the doors with corresponding buzzer buttons. His eyes searched the list until finally- Dean Winchester- on the top floor. Cas pressed the button.

            “This is Dean,” the deep, melodious voice answered after a minute or two. 

            Cas’ heart nearly stopped.

            “Dean! Dean, it’s Cas,” he said into the microphone.

            There was a long pause. Castiel waited as patiently as he could, but he felt as though he were going to come out of his skin any minute. Suddenly, there was a sound in the speaker.

            “Cas, I don’t want you here. Please go away,” the voice said flatly.

            Cas stared at the speaker in surprise. _What? Dean-_ He quickly composed himself. He didn’t come this far to give up now. He pressed the button again.

            “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks now, and you haven’t bothered to call back and people are lying to me at the club. I need to know what’s going, Dean. You owe me that much,” Cas’ voice was stern.

            He waited as there was another long pause. No answer.

“Dean, I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

After a moment, Cas heard the buzzing signal letting him know that the doors were unlocked. He grabbed one door handle and swung it open. The lobby area was huge with vaulted ceilings to give it a more traditional and cozy appeal. His shoes echoed across the gleaming marble floor. A silver elevator took him to the top of the building, all 50 floors. The doors opened and he stepped out into a small foyer. Dean’s apartment was the only one on the floor. Before he could knock on the door in front of him, it opened. Dean stood in the doorway in a tight white T-shirt and a pair of pale blue pajama bottoms that hugged his hips in all the right ways. His face was blank.

“What do you want, Cas?” he asked dully.

Cas stared into Dean’s eyes. The vibrant green he had come to love didn’t sparkle at the sight of him. They just stared back, flat and dark. Cas parted his lips in disbelief.

“Dean, what is going on?” he asked softly, searching for something- anything- in those dead eyes. “The last time we saw each other we seemed fine, great even, then suddenly you can’t even pick up the phone to let me know you’re okay? What is wrong with you?”

Dean spun around and walked back into his apartment, his bare feet padding softly against the glossed wooden floor. Cas followed.

“I don’t know what sort of delusion you’ve worked yourself into to think that I am obligated to tell you everything!” Dean spat venomously, whipping back around to face Cas.

“I deserve to know what’s changed, Dean!” Cas snapped back. “I’ve been worried sick!”

“Who asked you to worry about me, huh, Cas? ‘Cause I sure as hell didn’t!” Dean yelled.

Cas scrunched his eyebrows together and dropped his jaw. His eyes were wide. _What the hell was going on?_ _Why was Dean doing this?_ As Castiel stood motionless, just staring down at Dean, he caught a faint flicker in his green eyes. There was something he wasn’t telling him, and he was scared, not of him, but of something.

“Dean, what’s wrong? What are you afraid of?” Cas asked, his tone changing from angry to concerned. “Tell me, Dean. Please.”

Cas watched as Dean’s bottom lip gave a slight quiver. His eyes then came to life, burning a brilliant emerald as they became glossy. Cas took a step closer.

“Dean, please,” he pleaded.

Dean looked down and shook his head.

“I can’t,” he whimpered.

Cas then closed the space between the two and wrapped his arms around the other man. He hugged him close, breathing in his scent, feeling as though he would never let go. He was allowed a few moments before Dean pushed him away.

“We can’t, Cas,” he was sobbing now with thick streams of tears falling down his cheeks. “We can’t.”

“Why?” Cas asked. “Who’s threatening you?”

Dean went to turn away again, but Cas gently caught his shoulder. He brought his hands to his face and tilted it to face him dead on. He burrowed his eyes into Dean’s.

“Tell me.”

Dean’s face fell into his hands and he let out another whimper. Fresh tears dripped onto his fingers.

“It’s my boss, Crowley,” Dean finally answered. His shoulders shook from his sobs. “I did something bad, Cas…really bad…”

Castiel dropped his hands to lead Dean to a sofa in the living room. He sat him down then seated himself next to him.

“You can tell me, Dean. It’s okay,” he murmured in reassurance. It was breaking his heart to see the other man in such distress.

Dean sniffed and brought his eyes up to meet Cas. His eyelashes were blotted with tears. There was such anguish in his face. Cas grasped his hand in his own and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“I didn’t move away from home because I dropped out of school,” Dean began. “After my mother died, my father was drinking a lot more…”

Cas listened as Dean told him how his father beat him and Sammy when they were still young until they entered high school. On one night in particular, his father had broken Sammy’s arm.

“I killed him, Cas,” Dean barely whispered. “I shot him right through the heart.”

Cas didn’t respond; he let Dean continue. After Dean shot his father, he ran away with Sammy to his Uncle Bobby’s house. He made Bobby promise to take care of Sammy, and then left. That’s when he started his journey across the country.

“I met Crowley when I was 19, and I was working in my third strip joint,” Dean told him. “He watched my show, then took me aside. He said I had real talent.”

Cas stayed silent.

“But he told me that if I really wanted to make something of myself, I should sign on with him,” Dean said. “He also told me that he knew what happened to my father…I signed a contract with him that night.”

Cas was slowly realizing the seriousness of the situation.

“What was the contract?” he asked cautiously.

Dean stared up at Cas. His eyes were wide with fear.

“I had to dance in his club for 10 years, then…” Dean paused and looked away. “Then I would retire and stay with him or he’d turn me in to the police. He would own me for the rest of my life. And he knows about you Cas. He knows…”

Castiel’s mind was racing, and his chest felt like a truck had just hit him. _Crowley owned Dean._ He couldn’t bear the thought. He didn’t care if this guy knew about him spending time with Dean. His lovely, wonderful Dean was being held captive by a slimy scumbag. That’s all he cared about, and he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t even move. Dean hid his face in his hands and his body began to shake again. Cas reached for him, pulling him in close. Dean instantly melted against him and buried his face into his chest. Cas had been looking for him all this time. _He cared._ Dean closed his eyes and let the room drift away. He had never felt as safe as he did when Cas held him. It was like a perfect dream where things still happen, but they could never really hurt him. There was no worry or fear. Just Cas.

Dean gripped Cas’ shirt. He then felt Cas grasp his shoulders and pull him away just far enough to look into his eyes. Those eyes. Such a brilliant shade of blue that shined clear like the sky after rain. So blue and deep he was lost in them, and he never wanted to be found.

“Dean, listen, I’m not going to let anything happen to you, do you hear me?” Cas told him firmly, looking him dead in the eye. He held Dean’s face between his hands.

Dean nodded silently. By his tone, he knew he meant it.

“Why are you here, Castiel?” Dean whispered.

Cas sighed and gave him a small smile.

“Can’t you tell what you’ve done to me, Dean?” he asked softly. “Being dragged into the club blindfolded that night was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“We haven’t known each other long, but everything has changed. When I’m with you, I’m home, and when you leave I can’t stop thinking about you. Your smile, your eyes… I’ve never felt this way before. It’s like I’ve been struck by lightening.”

            Cas smiled wider at the spray of freckles he could make out on Dean’s face in the soft lamplight. He noticed them the first night they met. He gently stroked his cheek with his thumb.

            “I love you so much, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes widened, and his breath caught in his throat. His body suddenly grew warm. Before he could stop himself, he brought his lips to Cas. He wrapped his hands around the back of Cas’ neck and kissed him deeply. Cas felt the longing in the kiss, the desire to reach his very soul.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean replied against his mouth. “I love you so much…”

Cas returned the kiss eagerly hearing those words. _I love you, Cas._ He felt as though he were about to explode. He teased Dean’s mouth open with his tongue, which Dean surrendered to happily. His hands weaved their way through Dean’s hair. He breathed heavily between kisses. His body was heating up.

Dean’s hands were all over Cas, feeling his hard chest, his muscular torso, his broad shoulders. Cas felt himself growing harder in his pants. He loved when Dean touched him. He let out a small moan. Dean then trailed his hands down to his pants, where his erection was growing. He pulled his belt off in an instant- he was good at that- and threw it to the floor. His hand disappeared below the waistband of his opened pants.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean murmured, this time with lust thick in his voice. The sound of it sent a shiver through Castiel’s body.

“I love you, too, Dean,” he replied softly.

Dean wrapped his strong fingers around Castiel’s hard cock, and smiled. Cas let his eyes fall close.

“This is familiar,” he cooed. His eyes seared the color of the first blade of grass coming to life after the dead of winter.

Cas lifted his hips to let Dean get a better grip. His breathing was quick and shallow. This wasn’t the first time Dean had felt his cock, made him dissolve into nothing, but what if they went further? Cas had never been with a man before. _I’ve never been with a man before._ His eyes shot open, and he nearly jumped up from his seat. Dean stared at him with concern.

“What is it, Cas?” he asked.

Cas returned his gaze. He took a deep breath as his face grew hot.

“I-I’ve never…I’ve never been…” he stuttered nervously. “I’ve never been with a man before…”

A wide grin broke out across Dean’s face. His eyes glittered brilliantly. He reached down to grab Cas’ hand.

“Just follow my lead,” he told him then led him down the hall to the bedroom.  

Dean immediately began unbuttoning Castiel’s shirt, exposing more and more of his body as he did so. He tore the shirt off, then his pants. He pulled his boxer-briefs down, releasing his fully erect cock. Dean smiled and pushed Cas back onto the large, king-sized bed. Cas watched as Dean pulled his shirt over his head and dropped his pajama bottoms. He drank in the sight of him, knowing well enough that this was the first time he had seen Dean completely bare. God, he was gorgeous.

Cas felt his cock twitch as Dean took a moment to admire it. Dean then wedged his knee between Cas’ legs, spreading them wider. He climbed onto the bed and leaned over him. He straddled his legs over Cas’ hips, pinning him to the bed. Cas moaned at the familiar feeling of Dean’s strong thighs around his hips. The soft flesh of their hard cocks rubbed against each other. Cas’ heart felt as if it would burst against his ribcage. His breathing quickened. Oh God, how he wanted this. The feeling of Dean’s body against his—he had wanted it for so long. Dean brought his lips to Castiel’s ear, and Cas’ eyes fluttered close at the heat of the man’s breath brushing against his skin.

“Are you sure?” he asked again, in a low, gravely voice.

Cas swallowed, his throat suddenly bone dry.

“Yes,” he breathed. He thrust his hips upwards, relishing the pressure of Dean’s body above him. “Yes, I’m sure.”

He nipped his earlobe. His body was so hot, burning.

“Please, Dean,” he moaned as he stared up at him from under heavy eyelids. “Fuck me.”

A deep, predatory growl rumbled from Dean’s throat. Cas quivered at the sound. He wanted him so much. His cock was so hard it was beginning to ache. Dean gave him a small smile.

            “As you wish.”

            Cas whimpered beneath him. Dean brought his lips to Cas and forced his mouth open with his tongue. A strong hand moved down the length of Castiel’s body to grasp his throbbing cock, making his hips jerk and his breath catch in his throat. Dean moaned against Castiel’s greedy mouth. His hand moved along the length of Cas’ cock in slow, milking strokes. Dean then lifted himself up from Cas. He stared down at the man pinned beneath him, his eyes smoldering with lust. He shifted down, once again between Cas’ thighs. Dean grazed his lips down the muscular crease in the other man’s chest, pausing to take a hard nipple in his mouth and bite.

“Ah!” Cas gasped at the electric current that traveled down from his nipple to his cock. He felt how much pleasure Dean was extracting from the slow, wonderful torture. Dean continued down his torso with his lips, sucking at protruding hipbones, leaving a trail of kisses and goose bumps.

            “Oh, Dean,” Cas breathed.

Before Cas could utter another word, Dean slid his hot, wet mouth over his erect cock. Cas sucked in a breath through his teeth. His nails dug into his palms, and he bit down hard onto his bottom lip. Dean grazed his teeth against the flesh in his mouth. A sound came from Cas that he had never heard before, nor would he ever admit to making, and he bucked his hips up to thrust his cock farther down Dean’s throat. Luckily, Dean was keeping a firm grip on Castiel’s thighs; otherwise he would have choked at the forceful gesture. On his own terms, he allowed the length of Cas’ cock to slide farther into his mouth while pinning the other man to the bed until the length of him hit the back of his throat— again and again and again.

Cas savored the sensation of Dean’s tongue massaging his cock while it mashed against the soft tissue at the back of his throat. He felt himself crumble beneath him into a quivering mess of writhing muscles and panting breaths. Dean glanced up at Cas’ face with his lips still wrapped tightly around his base. Eyes shut and mouth open, Cas’ eyebrows stitched together in agonizing pleasure. Dean then let Cas slip out of his mouth and gave him a triumphant smile. His tongue licked at the mess of pre-cum and saliva gathered around his lips.

            Cas went to sit up to meet Dean, to taste himself on his lips, but a strong hand pushed against the middle of his chest, forcing him back down.

“Stay,” Dean growled, sending a wild flutter through Cas’ stomach. “Let me take care of you.”

 Dean’s eyes were on fire with a primal thirst. He placed three fingers in his mouth, wrapping his tongue around them in a sloppy mess. Cas watched as his slickened fingers disappeared out of sight. His body stiffened at the first gentle touch at his entrance, the sensation being completely unfamiliar. Cas sucked in a breath as he felt the dancer’s finger circle the rim slowly.

“Dean,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust.

Dean slowly pushed his finger in. Cas drew in a startled breath, but was surprised at the lack of pain.

“You are so hot, Cas,” Dean murmured. “So ready…”

More fingers slipped inside Cas with hardly any resistance. He stretched with the added width, but he felt nothing but aching pleasure at his touch. Slowly and gently the fingers slid in and out, making Cas writhe on the bed, panting and pressing himself down deeper onto Dean’s hand. Yielding to Cas’ encouragement, Dean curled his fingers upward, pressing the pads of his fingers against the bundle of nerves deep inside. Cas gripped the sheets beneath him and released breathless groans of pleasure from his throat. His body was on fire. He arched his back as Dean swirled his fingers inside him. He tightened himself around his fingers to milk a more intense sensation from the movement. Dean made a dark, rumbling sound that sent tremors up Cas’ spine. Abruptly, to his dismay, Dean pulled his fingers out.

“Lift your legs,” he instructed firmly, his voice low in his throat.

Cas readily obeyed. Dean paused for a moment to cherish the sight before him. He then leaned forward, putting his hands on either side of Cas to support his weight, nearly bending the man in half. Their eyes met then, bright blue to shimmering green. Breaths came hot and quick, but not a single word escaped. They just stared at one another. It seemed like a dream, a dream that had been harbored ever since Dean pulled off his blindfold. Finally, they were here together...

“I love you, Dean,” Cas whispered.

Dean sighed and his eyes closed for a moment in complete bliss.

“I love you, too, Cas,” he whispered back.

Cas then felt himself be filled slowly, wonderfully so. Dean drove his hips forward at an almost excruciatingly slow pace, ensuring that he wouldn’t hurt Cas and that the man could feel every part of him. He leisurely circled his hips, making Cas moan and arch his back into the mattress. As soon as he found his rhythm, he began to pick up speed. Faster and harder, he drove into him, and Cas melted beneath him. His movements were raw, rough, and borderline animalistic. Dean pinned him down, folding him deeper and deeper down over himself with each relentless thrust. He plunged deep into him, rubbing and grinding hard against Cas’ sweet spot over and over. Sweat pooled beneath Cas’ back and tiny beads glistened on his skin as he gulped for air before it was knocked out of him again with each thrust. The pleasure swallowed him whole; he was losing himself in it. He managed to open his eyes to look up at Dean. The sight that met his eyes made his heart stutter.

Dean’s eyes were squeezed shut, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip, swallowing the sounds trying to break free from the confines of his mouth.

“Dean,” Cas spurted out breathlessly.

Dean’s eyes opened. Molten green glowed and his gazed dripped down to Cas like stars falling against the night sky.

“Dean…my Dean…”

Dean’s body gave a violent shudder in response to Cas’ breathless voice. A helpless moan escaped his lips, and Cas could feel the scorching hot flames of desire lick up his spine in vicious, blissful stabs. Dean wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Cas…I’m close…” He moaned breathlessly, desperately trying to get the message out.

“Oh, Dean,” Cas gasped.

Dean’s hips stuttered erratically, speeding up in response to Castiel’s voice.

“I want see you come, Cas…” The words tumbled out of his mouth in a stream of noises that he couldn’t have held back even if he wanted to.

“Fuck…” he breathed, eyes squeezed shut, and then shot open to find the glowing green above him. “Dean, I’m coming… I’m co—…Dean!”

It seemed to happen all at once— Cas arched his back with a loud cry, and Dean released a deep groan. Everything just went white, then shrunk down until it was as small as the head of a pin, and then exploded with the energy of a supernova. Cas’ hot come spurted forth, splattering against their chests. Dean kept ramming into him, lost in a surge of desperate pleasure. Their chests slid easily against each other in the slick mess. Dean reached out a hand, frantically searching for Castiel’s. As soon as he found it, he laced their fingers together, and his head dipped down between his shoulders.

“Castiel!” he roared as Cas felt himself be filled with warmth. Cas moaned loudly.

Dean cried out one last time before collapsing onto Cas. His body was suddenly so weak from the force of his orgasm. He had never had one like that…ever. 

“Cas,” A whisper of a breath, throaty and hoarse.

Dean managed to lift himself on shaky arms to look into Castiel’s eyes. He tenderly kissed his lips. Cas wrapped himself around man and pressed into his kiss. He cupped Dean’s cheek then, after a moment, he pulled his lips away.

“You are so beautiful…” Cas murmured, gently rubbing his smooth cheek with his thumb.

Dean smiled.

“I love you, Cas,” he whispered softly. “So much.”

Cas reached up and laced his fingers through the thick hair of his lover.

“I love you, Dean,” he replied, his blue eyes glistening. 

Dean then shifted his weight to lie next to Cas. Castiel pulled him over to him, tucking him in close to his body. They basked in warm glow of their lovemaking. Dean wrapped his arm across Cas’ strong chest and tucked his nose against his neck. He gave a deep, content sigh. Castiel responded by nuzzling his nose into Dean’s hair as he rubbed his thumb affectionately over Dean’s shoulder.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean murmured against his neck.

“I love you, Dean,” Castiel replied softly. He would never get tired of saying those words out loud.

Dean then drifted off to sleep with Castiel following shortly behind. He knew then from that moment on that he would do anything for Dean. He would keep him safe. That was a promise.


	4. Crowley

             Blood dripped onto the floor in large, sticky streams. The smell of it was thick in the air. A man sat in the middle of the small, dim room. His hands where tied to the back of his chair with an incredibly tight knot of rope. His right eye was swollen shut and the color of grape juice. His other eye was soaked in blood that poured onto his face from a large gash above his eyebrow. There was a strong coppery taste in his mouth. _Crack!_ More blood splattered down. A dark-skinned man stepped back way from him to take a breather and to wipe the fresh blood from his knuckles. His white undershirt was soiled by splashes of gore. They had been at this for hours. A slender man in a black suit stood motionless in the corner, not saying a word as he watched.

            “I’m going to ask you again,” the dark man started, his voice incredibly deep. “Where is it?”

The man in the chair stayed silent and kept his eyes averted from the other man. His long hair sat limply on his shoulders, matted down with sweat and blood.

            “I’m beginning to lose my patience with you, Ash,” the dark man warned.

            Ash responded by spitting a mess of blood and broken teeth at Raphael. He then gave him a crimson smile.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he chuckled. His words made it passed his swollen lips the best they could. “Maybe you should ask your mom.”

            Raphael gave a visible clench to his jaw. He narrowed his eyes.

            “Cute,” he said, then proceeded to again smash his fist into Ash’s face. _Crack!_ Another broken tooth.

            “I don’t understand why you’re holding out on me, Ash. This would be so much easier for all of us if you’d just tell me where it is,” Raphael continued. “You know what will happen if you don’t.”

            Ash just shrugged his shoulders as he spat out the blood filling his mouth.

            “I sold the coke— all of it. Then I blew all the money on booze and whores,” Ash stated in a mocking tone.

It wasn’t true, obviously, but he had been in the business long enough to know that he wouldn’t walk out of this room whether he told the truth or not. He cleared the mess in his throat.

“Can I get a cheeseburger or something? I’m getting a little hungry,” he asked, looking up at Raphael through the slits of his inflamed eyelids. “Ooo! And a Dr. Pepper!”

Raphael let out a small laugh. He moved to hit Ash again, but was abruptly interrupted. The man, who had been like a statue in the corner up to this point, finally stirred to put a hand on Raphael’s shoulder. His henchman stilled his fist and instead turned to face his boss. The suit-clad man reached out his other hand as if he were asking for something. Raphael wasn’t sure what he wanted at first, but realization soon spread across his face. He went to the table in the back of the room and returned with a long knife. The handle was human bone that had been turned dark after years of being handled. The metal blade had large serrates near the handle, which smoothed out to a sharp point at the top. Ash stared at the knife, then the man. He looked him right in the eye. He knew what was coming.

“Last chance,” the man told him in a thick English accent as he cocked an eyebrow. His eyes were the color of a starless night.

Ash didn’t move and said nothing. This was it.

“Alright, you’re funeral,” the said matter-of-factly.

He jabbed the knife blade into the soft tissue just below the right corner of Ash’s jaw. The man then swept the knife horizontally, and Ash’s neck made a sickening cracking sound. Blood poured down from his wound, completely soaking his clothes before it dripped to the floor. The man pulled out the knife and wiped the blade on Raphael’s sleeve before handing it back to him. Raphael took it cautiously.

“Well, that was a waste of time,” the other man snapped as he glared down at Ash slumped over in the chair. “Now, please tell me you’ve found something on my Dean.”

Raphael swallowed nervously. Dean hadn’t been to the club in nearly two weeks, and there was no sign of him at the apartment Crowley provided for him.

“I’m sorry, Crowley, but no, I haven’t found anything yet,” he responded tentatively. “Meg and Azazel are still searching for him.”

Crowley pursed his lips in frustration. He wished that he still had the knife in his hand.

“Find him!” he shouted, making Raphael jump. “You fucking find that little whore and bring him to me, do you understand!?”

Raphael nodded vigorously, but wasn’t sure if he should move.

“NOW!” Crowley yelled in rage.

Raphael jumped again before quickly turning and almost running out the door. Crowley sniffed in disgust at the man. You just couldn’t find good help these days. If there was one thing he despised more than incompetence, it was people messing with his possessions. He clenched his fist as Dean’s face flashed in his mind. _That dancer will be sorry._ He guaranteed it.


	5. An Errand to Run

That morning Castiel woke up to the most glorious smell in the world— sweet, warm cinnamon. His sleepy eyes fluttered open, then squinted against the pool of golden sunlight on his wall. He rolled over to find the bed empty next to him. Judging by the smell, he knew that Dean must already be awake. Cas reached his arms high above his head. He stretched the sleep from his muscles and collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh. He stared up at the tall ceiling above him that was painted yellow by the sun pouring in through his floor-to-ceiling windows. He had something to do today. It had finally come.

            Castiel’s thoughts were interrupted by Dean’s figure in the bedroom doorway. He was bare-chested with only his pale blue pajama pants hugging his hips. He smiled brilliantly at Cas.

            “Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he purred affectionately.

            Cas smiled back and propped himself up on his elbows. He relished the warmth of his comforter on his naked body as he moved. He bowed his head down towards Dean until he was looking up at him right underneath his eyebrows.

            “Come here,” Cas beckoned with his index finger.

            Dean cocked an eyebrow at him and pushed his full lips forward in a slight pout as he obeyed. He floated towards him like a daydream, the years of dancing apparent in the way he carried himself, but stopped at the foot of the bed. Thick cords of muscle covered in tan skin glowed in the morning light, making him look like a proper god descended from heaven. Cas let his eyes examine the surface of his bare chest, then drop down to follow the lines of his protruding abdomen muscles, then down to the V crease of his hipbones that disappeared under the waistband of his pajama bottoms. Cas smirked at a pink and light purple bite mark at the top of his right hipbone. He knew the pattern matched his teeth.

            “Closer,” Cas encouraged in a low, gravely voice.

            Dean bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He was trying his best to look serious and not seem so eager. But, _fuck_ , it was difficult with the way Cas stared up at him with his molten blue eyes while he laid out on the bed like that. His dark hair was sticking up every which way from sleep, which only made him sexier. The blanket draped over his waist outlined the shaped of his lower body, and Dean knew he was naked underneath. That’s how he had left him.

Dean leaned down onto the bed with his hands, and then brought his knees up in a slow crawl towards his lover. Cas smiled wide as he did. Dean crawled until his thighs gripped his hips. Cas had told him how much he loved it when he did, and even now, he sucked in a breath through his teeth as he rested his weight on him. Dean dipped his head down to bring his lips to Castiel’s. The other man brought his face up to meet him and licked at his mouth. Dean responded by pressing deeper into the kiss, and Cas slid his tongue across the back of Dean’s front teeth. He tasted the faint sweetness of icing and cinnamon. That explained the smell. God, he loved it. Cas could feel the scratchiness from the stubble Dean was now growing out on his face. It gave him a twinge down below.

Almost as if he had been reading his thoughts, Dean giggled and pulled away. His chartreuse eyes danced playfully in the light, reflecting specks of gold in the irises. Cas thrust his hips upwards; causing Dean to fall forward again and bringing his lips back to his.

“Mmmm,” Cas hummed happily against his mouth.

Dean giggled again and sat back on his haunches. He looked into his eyes and melted away into the ocean of blue. It was remarkable how many different shades swirled around in Castiel’s irises. He felt so at home looking into those eyes, making his chest swell until it felt like it would burst. He loved him so much.

            “I baked cinnamon rolls,” Dean told him with a grin.

            “I know. I could taste them,” Cas licked his lips seductively.

            Dean watched his mouth and bit his lip. His thick, long lashes hung low in front of his eyes. Fuck, Castiel was sexy.

            “I love having you here with me,” Cas murmured.

            Pain flickered across Dean’s face for a brief moment; barely long enough for Cas to notice, but still long enough to let him know what he was thinking. Dean looked away.

“Come, they’re getting cold,” he said softly as he lifted himself off of Cas.

Cas watched him walk though the doorway and down the hall. That’s right…he had something to do today.

 

*          *            *            *

 

            Cas sat silently in his car, staring at the entrance of a strip club across the street. Night had fallen outside, which gave him a decent amount of cover. It had taken him two weeks to find him. Generally, it was pretty difficult to do so, but knowing the right questions to ask the right people helped ease the way. He found the address to this place and the time he would be there just the day before, and now he was here, right outside the door. He had told Dean that he needed to run some errands.

Cas took a deep breath. _Time to go._ He climbed out of his car and crossed the street to the club. A bouncer almost the size of the entire entrance blocked his way. His whole body looked as though it were made of iron.

            “I don’t think so, buddy,” he grumbled.

            Cas bent his neck to look up at him.

            “I need to speak to Crowley,” he told him firmly.

            The huge man kept his eyes forward, ignoring the request. Cas cleared his throat.

            “It’s about Dean.”

            The bouncer immediately snapped his attention to him. His eyes were slightly wider in what was possibly…fear. He spun around to the door.

            “Follow me,” he ordered.

            Cas wasn’t sure how the man fit through the doorway, but he was successful and now he was leading him through a dark club filled with drunken patrons and topless women. A spotlight illuminated one dancer on the center stage as she performed her routine. Brightly colored lights swirled around and music boomed in his ears. Cas found it quite easy to cut through the crowd with the huge bouncer in front of him to blaze a trail. He walked to a hallway off to the side that led to a door at the back of the club. The bouncer knocked.

            The door opened. A large, dark-skinned man in jeans and a denim jacket stood in the doorway.

“What the fuck do you want, Georgi? You’re supposed to be at the _front_ , remember?” the man spat.

“This guy needs to talk to the boss,” Georgi answered. “Says it’s about Dean.”

Raphael widened his eyes in the same manner that the bouncer had only a few minutes ago. He turned his head.

            “It’s Georgi, boss,” the man relayed to someone inside the room. “You have a visitor.”

            After a moment, the man moved aside to let them in. The two men entered a dim, smoky room filled with large, burly looking men. They glared at Cas as he walked in. A man in a black suit sat on large couch at the back of the room and swirled the drink in his hand. He looked Cas up and down as he approached.

            “Who the fuck is this?” he snapped.

            Cas could see Georgi’s hands shaking at his sides. The bouncer’s voice squeaked in his throat, not making any sounds or words a person could understand.

            “You must be Crowley,” Cas spoke up. “My name is Castiel. I’m here to talk to you about Dean.”

            Cas caught a flicker of rage in his obsidian eyes. He knew for sure now that he was speaking to the right person. Crowley waved the bouncer away then motioned for Cas to take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of him.

            “I’d prefer to stand,” Cas stated coldly.

            Crowley just shrugged.

            “Suit yourself,” he replied before sipping his drink. “Now, you must be the one who’s been keeping my precious Dean away from me.”

            There was a long pause while he stared up at him. The other men in the room watched the two carefully. It seemed like no one dared to breathe.

            “I haven’t been making Dean do anything he doesn’t want to,” Cas responded flatly.

            Crowley gave a dark chuckle.

            “Oh, boy,” he laughed. “You haven’t been here five minutes, Castiel, and already I have you figured out.”

            Cas smirked.

            “How’s that?” he asked.

            Crowley sat up from the couch and mockingly leaned forward as though he were so eager to explain himself.

            “It’s your eyes, Castiel, they’re a dead give away,” he said. “See, after a man kills another man, he can react in one of three ways: one, he doesn’t mind it, in fact he even kind of enjoys it, two, he completely falls apart and tries to find salvation through God or some idiotic thing like that…”

“…Or three, like you, it kills him, but it doesn’t completely break him. He learns how to push that secret down, down into a safe little box where no one will find it, but it still manages to show itself. When you look into his eyes you can see the empty space where a piece of his soul had died and withered away into nothing. You have that same look.”

Cas stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. Crowley took a long drink from his glass.

“Dean was definitely a two. After he killed his father, he shattered into tiny little pieces, and when he went to seek salvation, well, he didn’t find God. He found me, which is close enough.”

Cas kept his face completely blank. After years of experience, he was well versed in hiding his emotions, but inside, his anger was creeping up from within.

“I know you have a contract with Dean, and I’m here to make a new deal with you,” Cas stated.

He pulled a large yellow envelope from his leather jacket and set it on the coffee table in front of Crowley. The other man looked down at it, intrigued.

“I’m listening,” he said.

“In this envelope is what I am willing to pay you to back off from Dean,” Cas explained. “A complete severance package, and I won’t pay you a penny more.”

Crowley reached down and grabbed the envelope. He opened the flap and looked inside. His head whipped back in howling laughter. The men around the room grew more nervous as they waited. Crowley flipped the envelope upside down while holding it open. Nothing fell out.

“Oh, that’s clever,” Crowley chuckled. “That is really clever.”

 “Take it or leave it.”

“Hmmm, tempting offer, but what if I refuse? What happens then?” he asked, cocking his head to one side.

Cas shrugged his shoulders.

“Then nothing. Either way, Dean is staying with me,” he stated, looking Crowley dead in the eye.

Crowley’s smile fell from his face. Cas could see the fury begin to brew in the black depths of his eyes.

“You think you can come in here, after stealing my dancer, and disrespect me this way? You think you can break our contract? Dean signed it himself!” Crowley’s voice was growing louder. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sweetheart, but you are greatly outnumbered. Just because you’ve killed someone before, it doesn’t make you Superman.”

Cas stood motionless, not breaking eye contact. In his mind he was making mental notes about the physical characteristics of each man in the room and their locations. He shifted his weight to the balls of his feet. Crowley snapped his fingers loudly.

“Kill him,” he ordered blatantly. “And use whatever he has on him to find out where he lives. I’d make a million dollar bet that’s where Dean is right now.”

Crowley turned to Raphael.

“Find out where he lives and bring that whore dancer back to me.”

Raphael nodded. The other men were closing in on Cas. Suddenly, one large man lunged towards him. In a split second, Cas gripped the man’s head by the back and the jaw and gave it a swift twist. _Crack!_ And the man slumped into a lifeless heap on the floor.

Everyone, including Crowley, stared at Cas in shock, not sure what to do. Two men behind Cas then jumped towards him. Cas bent down to dodge their hands and slammed his fists back on either side of him. Both men crouched over as the wind was knocked out of their lungs. Cas felt the cold metal of a long knife blade inside one of the jackets and pulled it from its sheath. He expertly zeroed in on one man’s heart and jabbed, hitting a bull’s eye right into a major valve. Blood gushed from the wound. He would be dead in less than a minute. Castiel’s years of training were returning to him after so long. He remembered exactly what to do and when to do it like it was second nature to him. It was like riding a bike. Cas repeated his actions on the other man as he had on the first. Two more bodies fell to the floor.

“What the fuck!?” Crowley exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

Cas twirled and weaved just out of reach from the men coming at him, and blood splattered across the room as he sliced through major arteries with ease. In less than a minute, every man standing around the room was dead, bleeding on the floor. The leather gloves covering Castiel’s hands were slick with the gore. His clothes were streaked with it. He threw his knife to the floor and looked around the room. _Where’s Crowley?_

Just as he had his thought, Crowley, who was hiding behind the sofa, charged at him, his serrated, bone-handled knife raised up over his head.

“AAAAHHHHHHH!” he screamed in some sort of battle cry.

Without much effort, Cas punched Crowley squarely in the Adam’s apple and felt the bone crack under his knuckles. Crowley gasped for air and loosened his grip on the knife. Cas took the knife from him, swiftly ducked under his arm to stand behind him, and sliced it into his back.

“You should have taken the deal,” he hissed, and in one quick motion, severed his spine.

Crowley instantly crumpled to the floor. Cas crouched down to check his pulse, just to be sure. Nothing. Cas breathed a sigh of relief. _Okay, I need to get out of here—fast!_ He saw a door in the corner of the room that, luckily, led out to the alley behind the club. He tossed the serrated knife aside and quickly went for the door. He pushed through into the crisp, dark night.


	6. True Romance

            Dean was sitting on the sofa in the living room, reading, when Cas walked through the front door. He had managed to clean himself up at a nearby gas station, but he had a gnarly gash above his right eyebrow that would be a little more difficult to hide. Dean popped up from the sofa when he heard the door close and Castiel’s footsteps.

            “Hi,” he greeted Cas with a smile, which instantly disappeared when he saw his face. “Oh my God! Cas! What happened?”  

            Dean rushed to him and cupped his cheek. Cas winced as he gently touched his wound.

            “Were you mugged? A car accident?” Dean was frantic.

            Cas pushed passed him without a word and walked to the bedroom. Dean followed close behind. He started stripping off the clothes he had left in his car to change into after his work was completed. There was a sizable bruise on the left side of his ribcage where one of the men had managed to kick him. Cas frowned. His abilities were a little rusty after years of not using them. He winced again as he moved his left shoulder. His body wasn’t use to the movements he performed at the club. He could already feel the inflammation settling into his muscles.

            “Cas?” Dean’s voice was shaky.

            “No, I wasn’t mugged,” Cas replied. He paused a moment, then spoke, “Dean, I killed him.”

            Dean just stared, not sure if he heard the other man correctly. He spotted the grapefruit-sized bruise on his ribcage.

            “Killed him? Killed _who_? Cas, what are you talking about?”

            Cas sat down on the bed in nothing but his boxer briefs.

            “Crowley,” he answered. “I killed Crowley.”

            Dean gaped at Cas. _Killed Crowley?_ What? The last he heard from Cas was that he was running errands. What was he thinking going to Crowley? How did he even find him? Dean buried his face in his hands and began to sob. Cas glared at him.

            “You’re crying? _For him?_ He doesn’t deserve _one_ of your tears! Why the fuck are you crying?” Cas shouted. “Are you sad that he’s dead?”

Dean shook his head and sobbed harder.

“No, that’s not it…” he cried.

“What, then? Did you love him, huh? Is that why you’re crying? Did you love him more than me, is that it?” Cas yelled, now on his feet. “What if it had been me? Would you cry for me like this? Would you rather it was me?!”

Dean lifted his face from his hands. His cheeks glistened with tears. Cas’ chest heaved from yelling and the residual adrenaline rush from the club. He immediately regretted shouting at Dean like that, however, Dean seemed to feel differently. The other man ran to Cas and wrapped his arms around him. His lips pressed hard into Cas’. Their lips moved together as he hugged him tight. When Dean pulled away, Cas stared down in surprise. That was not what he was expecting.

“That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” Dean whispered.

Cas released a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. Dean giggled and bit his lip in that way that drove Cas crazy. The green of his eyes burned with a fiery intensity through his un-fallen tears. Cas dropped his eyes down to his lips, his breathing growing heavier. A hot flush of color flared up in Dean’s cheeks under the powerful gaze.

            “I love you, Cas,” he almost whispered.

            This time, Cas touched his warm lips to his, bringing his hand up to grasp the side of his jaw at the same time. Dean almost gasped when his tongue split his lips. His kiss was soft, but urgent, growing more and more fervent with desire. Dean shut his eyes and pressed closer to him, tying his hands together behind his neck, working his fingers in to his thick, almost black hair. They molded together, fitting perfectly with each rise and dip of their bodies. When he finally broke the kiss, Dean’s breath caught in his throat.

Castiel’s eyes glowed against the moonlight sinking into the dark bedroom through the window. They smoldered like wildfire with the strength of powerful thunderstorm brewing in the summer, but they shined with such a clarity it was almost as if Dean was looking at the raw surface of his soul. With a soft smile, Cas continued to gaze down at him. He licked his lips silently. Cas couldn’t handle this much longer. His blood was pumping so hard and fast he felt as though it would tear him open. Residual energy from the night’s episode at the club coursed through him, demanding to be released.

“Ooph!” the air rushed out of Dean’s lungs as he was shoved onto the bed.

Cas crawled on top of him, his eyes blazing hot. He lifted Dean’s shirt and began licking and sucking at every inch of exposed skin. He kissed his way down Dean’s torso until he noticed the faded bite mark on his hipbone. Dean flinched as he gave it a nip.

“Cas,” Dean breathed. His voice was thick with lust.

Cas felt as though his body was on fire. His heart thundered in his chest and already he was hard, pressing against his boxer-briefs. He jumped up from the bed, and Dean watched as he walked to the closet to retrieve something. After some digging, Cas spun around and climbed over him. His hard erection pressed against Dean’s belly as he straddled his hips. He grabbed the hem of Dean’s shirt and lifted it up and off of him in one smooth pull. Then, he grasped both of Dean’s hands and pushed them over his head. Dean drew in a startled breath as Cas wrapped a strap around his wrists and secured them tightly to the headboard. Dean could tell by the light squeak the strap made that it was leather. Cas liked leather.

“Is that too tight?” Cas asked Dean, his voice a little more concerned now.

Dean smiled up at him and pulled against the leather strap.

“Who fucking cares?” he replied and thrust his hips up at Cas.

Cas didn’t need further encouragement. He pressed a rough kiss to Dean’s lips and bit on his bottom lip. He then brought his mouth to Dean’s neck and started sucking and nipping at his tender flesh. He tasted so good.

“I’m yours, Cas,” Dean whispered into his ear. “I belong to you now…”

Cas stopped abruptly and sat up. Dean looked up at him, his eyebrows stitched together.

“You don’t belong to me, Dean,” Cas said softly. “Your body, however, yeah, fuck yes, your ass is mine, but not you. I don’t own you, Dean, and I never want to.”

Dean gave him a small smile and color rushed to his cheeks. Whenever he felt as though Cas couldn’t be more perfect, he was always proven wrong. How did he get so lucky? Cas then gave Dean a smirk and cocked an eyebrow. The sweet moment was over.

“Now where was I…” he asked in a low, gravely voice.

Dean arched his back, pulling harder against the strap, as Cas kissed down his torso again. God, he loved when Cas touched him. His body was heating up under his lips. Cas stepped off the end of the bed and grabbed the hem of Dean’s pajama bottoms. He gave them a strong tug, pulling them off in one motion. He froze, unable to move, unable to breathe.

Cas stared down at a pair of lace panties the color of lavender clinging to Dean’s hips with the head of his hard cock peaking over the waistband. If there was anything he loved more than leather, it was lace, and it looked perfect on his lover.

“Oh, fuck, Dean…” Cas breathed. “You’re too good to me…”

Dean felt his cheeks burn. He had forgotten that he put them on earlier. Cas pounced onto him, grabbing his hips. He flipped him over onto his stomach, twisting the strap tighter around Dean’s wrists. Dean enjoyed how easily Cas could handle him and lifted his ass in the air to express the sentiment. Cas released a predatory growl as he admired Dean’s firm, round ass split by a thin strip of flowery lace.

“Fuck…” Cas groaned while his cock ached in his boxer-briefs. “You look so fucking beautiful like this, Dean.”

He stood up long enough to strip off his last piece of clothing, and Dean squirmed a little, fighting against the strap. He wanted to feel Cas touching him again. As if he had read his mind, Cas leaned down to kiss up the back of his legs and suck the tops of his thighs, working his way in to more sensitive areas. He grasped both ass cheeks in each hand and spread them wider. He then dragged his tongue in a long, wide, wet stripe from the bulge in the panties up along the strip covering Dean’s hole, earning a moan from the dancer. He gave his ass a hard bite, making Dean jump with a yelp.

Cas then tucked a finger under the lacey fabric and pulled it aside, exposing Dean’s entrance. He could hear Dean’s breathing grow faster and heavier. He brought his tongue to the pucker of muscle and traced the rim. He licked it gently at first, getting it wet, before pushing his tongue inside.

“Oh, Cas,” Dean moaned loudly and leaned back against Castiel’s mouth.                     Cas drove is tongue in deeper, pleased with the way the muscle relaxed around it. He breathed in the earthy scent of his skin, tasted him, and was completely lost in it. He listened to Dean murmur his name like a prayer over and over again. He pulled his tongue out to glaze the opening with wet licks and kisses.

“Please, Castiel,” Dean whimpered. “More…please…”

Cas pulled his mouth away from Dean.

“Did I say you could give me orders?” he asked in a firm tone while bring his hand down onto Dean’s ass in sharp _Smack!_ , causing Dean’s hips to jut slightly forward in surprise. “But I can’t resist you when you’re like this, so I will obey…” 

Still holding the lace panties to one side, Cas gave Dean’s hole a sloppy lick before he slid his first finger all the way inside. It sank in as if it were going through warm butter. Cas moaned. Craving the taste of him, he began licking the rim wrapped around his finger as he drove it in and out. Dean groaned with pleasure. Cas turned his hand and slipped in a second finger, continuing to move them in and out. He pushed his fingers into Dean rhythmically as he kissed and sucked the stretching flesh. Dean was a moaning, beautiful mess, completely lost in the sensations.

“Castiel!” he gasped as Cas added a third finger.

Cas pumped his fingers into Dean until they slipped in and out without any resistance. Dean rolled his hips down onto Castiel’s fingers the best he could with his restraints. Cas could feel that he was barely holding it together, and to Dean’s dismay, he pulled his fingers out. He was ready.

Cas rose to his knees and tore off the lace panties, throwing the ripped fabric to the floor. Dean tensed slightly in anticipation as he heard Cas spit for lubrication. He moaned as his lover gently pressed his cock to his opening to assess whether he was really ready for him or not. However, Dean couldn’t wait. There were so many sensations he was feeling and wanting all at the same time. He was so hot, wound up so tight… Dean leaned back suddenly, swallowing up Cas’ entire length and making Castiel nearly blackout.

“Oh, fuck, Cas,” he moaned breathlessly.

Cas breathed heavily and pressed in harder, deeper, and Dean made a guttural sound, his wrists fighting the leather strap. Cas moved in and out, slowly at first, with each hand on Dean’s hips. He pulled back almost all the way out before he pushed forward again, grinding his hips hard against Dean, hitting his sweet spot dead on. He then leaned forward, bringing his chest against Dean’s back. He felt the slickness of sweat pooling on his lover’s skin. Dean arched his back more against the added pressure. _Fuck,_ Cas made him so hot. His body trembled with Cas’ breath at his ear, on the back of his neck. He moaned as Cas grazed his teeth along his shoulder before giving it a sharp bite. He was feverish with desire.

Cas looked down at Dean. _Fuck._ Dean had his head turned as far as he could and was looking back at him, his eyelids heavy with lust and his mouth open in a moan. His eyes burned molten green. Cas could almost hear every cell in Dean’s body screaming with need as his fingers traced the length of his spine before returning to the planes of his shoulder blades.

_Fuck!_ Cas began picking up speed, thrusting hard and deep into his lover. Dean could only moan beneath him. The change of pace sent blissful, numbing waves across nerve endings he was barely aware of. He felt delirious, as if he might explode or implode or simply melt into nothing under the pressure that was threatening to undo him.

“Don’t stop, Cas,” Dean murmured breathlessly.

He shivered uncontrollably, uttering a mess of barely intelligible words that made Cas aware of the pounding in his ears. It took more control than Cas even knew he possessed to keep from going over the edge with each thrust into Dean’s slick, warm depths. He wanted to terribly; the building pressure was astonishing. Dean whimpered and pleaded as his fingers curled against his restraints, pulling hard enough that an audible rip was heard.

“Cas…I…I’m gonna…” Dean couldn’t even finish his words. He was so close.

Cas quickly reached up and tugged the end of the leather around the headboard, releasing Dean’s wrists.

“Ah!” Dean fell forward slightly from the sudden lack of support.

Cas pulled out of him and flipped him over onto his back. Dean was like a ragdoll under Cas’ strength from the adrenaline rush brought on earlier that night. He towered over Dean from between his legs. He was in total control and he relished the feeling. He took a moment to admire Dean as a needy, whimpering mess before lifting Dean’s legs and sheathing himself in one powerful thrust.

“Ah!” Dean cried out at the sudden fullness.

Cas didn’t waste anytime. He began pounding at a brutal pace, slamming into the dancer. The noises coming from Dean were the sweetest, most beautiful sounds Cas had ever heard, like the first birdsong after a long, cold winter. He continued his punishing pace. The onslaught of pleasure left Dean reeling, unable to find the strength to hold his legs up. Cas hooked them over his shoulders as he pounded into him relentlessly. He gasped and moaned uncontrollably now, Dean’s name falling from his lips like a prayer as each thrust pushed him impossibly closer and closer to the edge. Cas leaned over Dean, folding him nearly in half. Sparks flew in Dean’s vision as his throbbing erection brushed against Castiel’s torso, sending jolts of pure white heat running up his spine. A hoarse cry escaped Dean’s throat as his body arched off the bed.

“I’m going to come, Cas,” he barely finished the statement.

“Then come,” Castiel ordered bluntly as his hand reached down to stroke Dean’s cock. “I want to see you come for me, Dean…”

“Fuck, Cas!”

Hot come spurted from Dean, coating their chests with the mess.

“Fuck!” Cas cursed sharply. His pace became frantic as he continued to thrust into the sudden unbearably tight clamp of muscles around his cock. It was too much.

“Dean!” Cas cried out as he fell over the edge.

His body shuddered and his heart thundered in his chest as his orgasm ripped through him like a volcanic eruption. The force blinded Cas for a moment; he could feel every inch of his body tingling and the delicious warmth of Dean beneath him. His arms weakened and he collapsed onto his lover, breathless. The haze slowly began to lift, and he slipped out of him gingerly to lie next to him.

Dean immediately snuggled up to him, wrapping his arm across Castiel’s chest. Drunk on his post-orgasmic glow, Cas smiled down at the faint pink welts forming on Dean’s wrists. He stroked the enflamed flesh gently with his fingertips.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean whispered, his jaw heavy.

Cas gave him a comforting squeeze.

“I love you, too, Dean.” he replied as he nuzzled his nose into his hair.

Dean’s breaths grew deeper and longer, and within minutes, he was fast asleep. Cas brought the blanket up to cover the both of them, then tucked Dean in closer to him.

“I love you, too,” he whispered and drifted off to sleep.

*          *            *            *

 

            Cas opened his eyes, heavy with sleep. The bedroom was dark, telling him that it was still the middle of the night. He shifted his weight in the warm bed and winced. His body ached painfully from the stress of unfamiliar movements performed at the club. The body next to him stirred.

            “Cas?” Dean’s gravelly voice was slightly raspy from his outbursts earlier that night. He sounded as if he had been awake for a while.

            “Hmmm?” Cas replied, letting his eyelids flutter close.

            “I’ve been wondering…how did you get to Crowley?”

            The question caused Cas’ eyes to spring open again.

            “Crowley is always surrounded by bodyguards—huge bodyguards. How were you able to…to kill him?” Dean clarified his question.

            Cas took a moment to allow the words to sink in. He was traversing unfamiliar terrain. He grimaced as he moved to sit up, and Dean adjusted himself to let him. He leaned back against the cool headboard and took a deep breath. He could feel every fiber of muscle ache throughout his ribcage as it expanded.

            “I, uh, I was in the military. I only left a few years ago,” Cas finally replied while staring up at the ceiling. “It wasn’t too difficult to handle the situation.”

            Cas paused to see if Dean would ask him anything more, but the dancer seemed to be satisfied with his answer. He reached down to gently lift Dean’s chin towards him. His green eyes shimmered up at him.

            “Now you need to tell me something, Dean,” Cas said softly. “How did Crowley know about your father?”

            Dean looked away, and his face fell noticeably. The question obviously hit a raw nerve. However, in spite of the pain apparent on his face, Dean managed to bring his eyes to once again meet Cas’.

            “After my mother died, my father started going on trips, some were longer than others, and they were frequent,” he began tentatively. “I found out my father was a drug smuggler when I was about ten years old.”

            Dean hesitated, the swirl of thoughts in his head flashed across his face as he sought out the right words to use.

            “Crowley was his boss.”

            Cas felt like the wind had just been knocked out of him. Dean’s answer explained quite a bit, but it still wasn’t what he was expecting. He waited for Dean to continue.

            “The night that I killed my father was the night he told Sammy and me that we would be joining him—killing people, smuggling drugs, the family business,” Dean stated bitterly. “I couldn’t allow Sam to go through that.”

“When Crowley found me years later, he told me that he would keep the identity of my father’s murderer to himself and would be willing to leave Sam out of it if I signed with him.”

Dean then sat up and brought his foot forward. He pointed the bottom towards Cas, revealing a small pentagram tattoo encircled by spikey flames on his heel.

            “He branded me, to remind me that I belonged to him,” he almost whispered, shame oozing into his voice. “He took me with him that day, and I was sure that he was going to force himself on me that night, but he promised me that he would wait. He would wait until my dancing contract was up before he claimed me…Does this make you think less of me, Castiel?”

            Dean’s eyes began to glisten with moisture. They burrowed into Castiel, searching for any sign of a reaction. Cas cupped his face in his hand and stroked his cheek with his thumb. He smiled down at the freckles across the bridge of his nose.

            “Your past does not define who you are to me, Dean,” Cas murmured. “You being here with me now, in this moment, that is all I care about. I love you, Dean, and nothing will ever change that.”

            Cas leaned down to gently kiss Dean’s supple, pink lips. He was not a religious man, but in that moment, he thanked God that he was able to do so. His heart was brimming with love for Dean, filling him with a sense of purpose, of belonging. He never truly understood what his life was missing until he felt the warmth of another person next to him who loved him just as deeply. It was almost too good to believe.

            “Cas, I need you to promise me something,” Dean said as Cas pulled his lips away.

            “Anything, my love.”

            “I need you to promise me that you will always come back to me,” Dean whispered. There was a slight crack in his voice at the end. “I couldn’t ever bear to lose you. Promise me.”

            Cas ran his fingers through his lover’s hair affectionately and kissed his forehead.

            “I promise,” he answered. “I promise.”


	7. Hannah

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_ Cas opened his eyes at the sound. Bright yellow sunlight poured into the bedroom. _It must be pretty late in the day._ He looked to his side only to find an empty space of wrinkled bed sheets. Empty, but he could hear the faint pitter-patter of the shower from the master bathroom.  _Knock! Knock! Knock!_ Cas sat up with a groan and swung his feet over to the floor. On legs still wobbly with sleep, he grabbed his robe from his chair and walked to the front door. _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

            “Alright, alright!” he shouted as he threw open the door. He almost fainted.

            Bright blue eyes stared up at him, and long, dark curls framed a face that contrasted against the pale hue of her skin.

            “Hannah?” Cas started tentatively. “I haven’t seen you for years!”

            She did not respond. She didn’t smile. She just pushed passed Castiel into the living room, trailed by two men dressed in suits. Hannah took a long look around the room as if she were expecting to find something. After a moment, she finally brought her gaze to Cas.

            “You blew my operation, Castiel,” she stated coldly.

            Cas just stood and stared. _Operation? How did he blow an operation?_ Before he could respond, Hannah continued.

            “Crowley was part of my operation,” she explained. “You killed him, dammit.”

            She turned and went to the couch deeper in the living room. Hannah had never been the sentimental type, and even after all these years, she stayed true to her character. Cas had only just noticed that she was carrying a brown folder under her arm. She was here on official business. She plopped down onto the couch while the other men remained standing. Cas sat next to her, and the men glared down at him.

            “How did you know?” Emotion immediately left Castiel’s voice. His years of experience were kicking in once again.

            Hannah opened the folder over the coffee table and pulled out a dark photo. Cas took it from her to take a closer look. The texture was a little grainy, but something stood out crystal clear. His face.

            “I disabled the entire surveillance system Crowley had in that room,” Cas said as he stared down at the photo in disbelief. “Where did this picture come from?”

            “iPhone,” Hannah retorted. “You are very lucky that we arrived at the scene first.”

            Cas felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment and shame. What a rookie mistake. To his defense, though, he never had to worry about iPhones or whatever when he was still in the service. He threw the picture down onto the coffee table. This couldn’t have been the only reason Hannah had finally decided to pay him a visit. He knew his sister too well.

            “What do you need from me, Hannah?” he asked point blank.

            The corner of Hannah’s mouth pulled up in a smirk. Her brother knew her well.

            “Crowley wasn’t the man in charge, Castiel,” she started as she pulled another picture from her folder and handed it to him.

            In the photo, Crowley sat on a café patio with another man. The other man was older with tight gray and silver curls for hair. He was smaller and slightly rounder than his subordinate, but even in the photo, his authority was obvious.

            “We haven’t been able to find his real name, but we know he goes by Metatron,” Hannah interrupted his thoughts.

            “Crowley was a drug dealer. Don’t tell me that the service has sunk so low to pursue that kind of trash,” Cas teased.

            Hannah glared and handed him some files.

            “He’s an arms dealer,” she stated bluntly. “He’s been on the United States watch list for the last few years, and we have reason to believe that he’s gotten his hands on nuclear weapons.”

            Cas looked up at his sister. Her electric blue eyes burned with chill of seeing far too much- so much more than anyone should ever see. He communicated that he understood the seriousness of the situation without uttering a word.

            “How can I help?”

            “We don’t know were he’s keeping the weapons or what he’s planning to do with them. Crowley was our only option for a soft operation,” Hannah said. “We need your help to stop him before he has a chance to carryout whatever he’s planning…and we’re running out of time.”

            Suddenly, Dean appeared in the doorway of the living room. His skin glistened with droplets of water that continued to roll down to the towel wrapped around his waist. He used another towel to pat at his damp hair. He froze as the two men in suits drew their handguns on him.

            “Whoa!” Cas exclaimed, jumping up from his seat. “It’s okay, gentlemen! He’s with me.”

            “What is he doing here?” Hannah growled, also on her feet, her eyes wide. Her gaze was glued on Dean.

            Cas smirked at her.

            “We’re all adults here, Hannah. Do I really need to explain…”

            “That’s Dean Winchester,” Hannah interrupted him sharply.

            Dean shot a confused glanced over to Cas, his hands raised in defense.

            “How do you know him?” Cas asked.

            Hannah reached down to flip through the files in the folder. She finally found what she was looking for and shoved it into his hands. Castiel’s eyes widened as he looked down a photo of Dean’s face peeking around the hood over his head. He was sitting with Metatron.

            “He’s Metatron’s number one operative,” Hannah stated, keeping her eyes locked on Dean. “He was Crowley’s superior.”

            Cas dropped the photo in his hand, allowing it to slowly swish back and forth until it reached the floor. He gaped at Dean. His lover returned his gaze with a ferocious intensity, his green eyes glowing. Cas was the one to break eye contact after several minutes.

            “Cas,” Dean finally spoke.

            Cas turned away from him, completely at a loss of what to do, what to say. His lungs felt as though they had just collapsed in his chest and refused to reflate.

            “Cas, please.”

            “Have him get dressed. He’s coming with us.” Hannah ordered. “He will be useful.”

            Cas listened as the men followed Dean into their bedroom to find him some clothes. His head was swimming.

            “He’s very good at his job, Cas,” Hannah said softly after a moment. It was as close to a comforting tone as she could manage. “And you’ve been out of the service for years. You couldn’t have known.”

            The words only made him feel worse. What the fuck was happening!? His heart thumped loudly in his chest and his breathing grew shallow. He could feel his face heating up as hot tears blurred his vision. He stifled every sound that threatened to escape his mouth, especially in front of his older sister, but internally, he was screaming. _It can’t be true! IT CAN’T BE!_

            “How can you be sure he wasn’t coerced?” Cas asked, keeping his back turned to Hannah and managing to even out his voice.

            “It may have been so in the beginning, but Dean has been taking the initiative in recent operations.”

            Cas bit down hard on his bottom lip to force back a wail. She may as well have stabbed him through the heart. He then heard the footsteps of three men as Dean returned from the bedroom fully clothed. He stared at Castiel’s back, only giving Hannah a quick, dark glance.

            “Castiel,” Dean tried again, willing Cas to turn to him. Cas stood frozen in place.

            “Let’s go,” Hannah motioned for the door. “We’ll meet you at the office, Cas.”

            “Cas!” Dean cried as the two men shoved him towards the door. “Cas, please. Look at me!”

            Cas refused, unable to bring himself to look at the dancer—the liar. The door slammed shut behind them, and he could hear Dean shouting as they rode the elevator down. Then there was silence. It rang in Cas’ ears until he could almost feel his head vibrating. He dropped to his knees, suddenly feeling extremely weak. He grabbed a pillow from the couch and pressed it against his face. He released a harrowing scream until it was choked from his throat by his sobs. He kneeled, sobbing alone in his apartment as his entire world crumbled around him.


	8. The Truth is a Bitch

            Dean sat handcuffed to a table in the middle of a bright, empty room. His hair was matted with dried sweat, and he was wearing the same clothes he had on when he left the apartment. It had been a week since Hannah showed up at the apartment. He hadn’t been allowed out of the interrogation room very often during that time. Apparently, that’s how prisoners are treated.

            Dean looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing in the room really to look at other than your own reflection in the mirror. His bottom lip quivered slightly and he closed his eyes once the light had grown to be too much. He then leaned forward and rested his forehead against his hands on the table. The door in the corner of the interrogation room opened, and Dean sat up abruptly. Hope glimmered in his green, slightly blood-shot eyes. Hannah stepped into the room with a smirk, and Dean fell back against his hard chair. She was dressed severely in her pressed black pantsuit with her hair hanging down in dark curls. She was a petite woman, but her presence could be suffocating. She sat at the table across from Dean with a folder.

            “You have quite the sheet, Dean,” Hannah said absently as she thumbed through the files in her folder. “You started pretty young, didn’t you?”

            Dean stayed silent. Hannah paused to look up at him. He didn’t return her gaze. He kept his eyes on his cuffed hands.

            “You shot and killed your father when you were sixteen years old,” Hannah stated bluntly. “Apparently you were a good shot. Only took one bullet.”

            Dean continued to ignore her. He didn’t give any indication whatsoever that he was listening. Hannah smiled and leaned forward.

            “Your father worked for Crowley and recruited you into it, too, right? Is that why you killed him?” she asked, almost teasing him.

            Dean said nothing. Hannah leaned back into her chair and began flipping through her files again.

            “I couldn’t care less about that, honestly, Dean. I’m more interested in your involvement with Metatron,” she said and pulled out a photo. She placed it on the table in front of him. “I want to know about his deals.”

            Dean didn’t even bother to look at the photo. He knew what would be there. He and Metatron. She had been playing this record for the last week. It was getting old.

            “Dean, you are facing treason,” she explained to him, the playfulness completely gone from her voice. “The only way you can help yourself is to talk.”

            “I’ll only speak to Cas.”

            Dean’s voice was raspy like he had been shouting for extended periods of time. It also cracked slightly from a lack of adequate fluids. Hannah sighed and scooped up her files. Dean had been this way since the afternoon she brought him in, but she figured it was worth a shot. She stood up and walked out of the room. Once again, Dean was left to himself in the bright, desolate room. Several minutes later he could hear something just outside the door, but he couldn’t quite make out what it was. He then heard the doorknob turn and the door opened. He didn’t look up; he just closed his eyes. He guessed it was Hannah returning to take another crack at him. But nothing happened. It was silent. After a long while, Dean finally looked up and froze.

Cas, still standing, looked down at him through harsh slits in his eyes. His clear blue irises glowed in the dark shadows of his eyes. The intense fluorescent light shining down cast darkness over his tired face, making him look more ragged. A mixture of disgust and anguish seeped out of him against his will. Dean’s eyes widened, still unsure if he was truly seeing him.

“Cas?” Dean whispered.

Cas closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. His stomach tightened at the sound. It was more difficult than he thought actually being in the room with him. When he opened his eyes again, Dean was staring up at him. Thick bands of vibrant chartreuse wrapped around dark pupils burrowed into him.

“I’m here at my sister’s request,” Cas said coldly. “She informed me that you would only speak to me.”

Dean winced at the harshness in his voice. He had never heard that tone used by Castiel. It was the most heartbreaking sound in the world.

“Cas, please let me explain…”

“You lied to me, Dean…”

Castiel’s voice cracked on his name. He said it before he could stop himself. A large lump was gathering in his throat.

“You lied to me,” he repeated. He was losing his voice more and more by the second.

“I didn’t mean for this to get so out of hand,” Dean murmured.

            Cas glared down at Dean then. Through the disdain on his face, a shimmer of moisture was beginning to gather in his eyes. An unbearable urge to wrap his arms around Cas swelled up into Dean’s chest, and he cursed the cuffs around his wrists.

            “Was fucking me required or was that just you taking the initiative?” Cas spat cruelly.

            Dean’s throat closed tightly around his words. The man he loved was staring down at him with such hate, such disgust. His heart felt as through it were being ripped right from his ribcage. Never had he been in such pain.

            “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Cas…”

            “Well, it fucking did! So you better start talking!” Cas shouted as he kicked his chair to the other side of the room, making Dean jump.

            “I had to do it for Sam, Cas!” Dean cried. “Metatron only agreed to leave Sam out of this life if I agreed to work for him!”

            “Is that your excuse!?” Cas yelled, slamming his hands down on the table.

            Dean tried to reach up, but the chain kept him close to the table.

            “You don’t understand…Sam was all I had…” Dean pleaded, his voice shaking. “We had been through so much together as kids. It was my job to protect him. He was all that I had…I couldn’t lose him, too.”

            Cas waited, allowing Dean to continue.

            “After Crowley found me, Metatron wanted both Sam and I to work for him. He knew that we’d be extremely useful with the training our father had forced on us. I was older and more experienced than Sammy. I refused him. I only agreed to be his number one when he promised to leave my brother out of it.”

            Cas felt his rage begin to subside at the pain clear in Dean’s eyes.

            “It was no accident that I was to dance for you that night. One of Crowley’s boys knows Balthazar and mentioned it to him. I refused to take the job at first, but Metatron sent me photos of Sam at home with his fiancé, Jessica,” Dean continued. “I had no choice. I was supposed to dance for you and encourage you to contact me after. From there, I was supposed to get close to you, be a trusted confidant. I wasn’t supposed to…I didn’t mean to…”

            He looked away in shame, a tear falling from his eye. Cas felt his bitter countenance waiver slightly at the sight of him, but he managed to continue to glare down at him.

            “I got too close, Cas. I fell in love with you...” Dean murmured. “I tried to stay away, but…I couldn’t.”

            Dean brought his eyes up to meet Cas. They burned the color of the last leaf of summer fighting against the failing sunlight of fall. More tears streamed down his cheeks.

            “I never meant to hurt you, Cas,” he said softly, his voice quavering through his tears.

            Cas clenched his teeth together. The lump was welling up into his throat again.

            “I…I don’t even know who you are, Dean, not really,” he said.

            “I never lied to you when we were together, Cas,” Dean replied. “ _I_ was the one there with you…loving you…”

            Cas spun around away from Dean. Tears began falling from his eyes. _Dammit, Cas, pull it together!_ He felt as if his entire body were being torn apart, piece-by-piece. His legs were shaky and his chest was on fire.

            “I fell in love with you, too, Dean…so deep,” he whispered. “But I don’t know if I can…”

            “Cas.”

            Cas just shook his head. He angrily wiped the tears from his cheeks and turned back to face Dean.

            “If you ever did love me, you’ll talk to my sister about your boss,” he challenged frostily. “That’s all I have to say to you.”

            He then made his way towards the door.

            “Cas! Cas, please!”

He paused with his hand on the doorknob.

            “Cas, I love you.”

            Cas dropped his head down at the words, like a knife through the heart. Without a word, he then opened the door and walked out.

            “Cas!”

            Hannah stood outside in the hallway. The blue in her eyes shimmered brilliantly. She had been listening in the other room.

            “I’ll take it from here, Castiel,” she said emotionlessly and walked passed him into the room.

            Cas stood in the hallway, alone. He buried his face in his hands and let the tears fall.


	9. Operation Empty Quiver

“We go in at midnight.”

            Hannah watched as Cas sat back in his chair and rubbed his aching neck. He had spent the last few hours with her reviewing the logistics of their operation. With Dean’s Intel, the service had been able to track down Metatron’s current location and zero in on a possible site where he may be storing his weapons. They still weren’t confident enough in the site to risk storming the place, however, one of their agents informed them that Metatron was planning a transport of the weapons. They learned that they would be taken by delivery truck through the city to the harbor, where they would then be placed on a ship to be delivered God knows where. The service was able to gather enough information to know the type of truck being used and an approximate location based on a fragment of an encrypted transmission that was interpreted before they lost the signal. Dean had been there every step of the way, assisting in any way he was asked to. Even Cas had to admit, reluctantly, there was no way they could have done it without him.

Now, after weeks of planning, the day had finally arrived. At midnight, Cas and a small team would apprehend Metatron in the skyscraper in which he would be directing the transfer before hopping on a plane himself. Another team would intercept the truck and seize the weapons inside. If one or the other objective was not successful, they would be facing a terror threat greater than any of them had ever seen before. Each operation needed to be successful.

“Midnight,” Cas repeated.

“Let’s go gear up,” Hannah insisted and stood up from the table.

Cas stood and followed her out of the room. Dean was being escorted through hallway towards them. Cas hadn’t seen him since the day in the interrogation room weeks ago. His thin cheeks sank in deeper against his teeth and purplish shadows darkened his sunken eye sockets. Castiel’s breath caught in his throat when Dean met his gaze. What stared back was the deep emptiness of an abandoned cave. The light had faded from his irises and they reflected a green as lifeless and dull as stone. He smiled in greeting at Cas. It didn’t touch his eyes.

“Are you ready, Dean?” Hannah asked him.

Dean nodded softly, taking his eyes away from Cas. He would be with Hannah, helping her to direct the operation from a surveillance van just within sight of the skyscraper. Cas originally objected to his presence on the day of, but Hannah insisted that his aid would be vital as all the gears of the operation began moving. She needed him there in case plans were suddenly changed.

“Let’s go.”

Cas stood to the side to allow the agents escorting Dean to lead him close behind Hannah. He trailed them, watching the back of Dean’s head as they walked. He was just a shell of the dancer. Whatever made Dean who he was had left him and now it seemed his body only continued to function on muscle memory alone. Cas couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret in his chest, but he quickly shook it off. He had a job to do.

 

*          *            *            *

It was quiet, eerily so. Printers, computers, and copiers sat idly by, waiting for a queue to give them their spark of life. It never came, and they continued to sit, dark and quiet. Every chair was empty and the only lights on in the building were for security reasons. Never had Cas seen a building so empty, especially in New York City. This must be the right place.

“We’re in,” he mouthed with only the slightest of sound.

“What’s your position?” Hannah’s voice came in crystal clear from the small device inside his ear.

“We’re now entering the west wing of the building. There is no sign of Metatron. There’s no sign of anyone,” Cas answered softly.

Clad in black nylon with bands and belts wrapped tightly around them carrying extra ammunition and other tools, Cas and his team of four sliced silently through the air. He pressed the AK-47 in his hands closer to his cheek until the cool metal barely brushed his skin. They moved swiftly through the room like shadows slipping over its surfaces.

“Report to me when you’ve reached the conference room,” Hannah ordered.

“Wilco.”

Hannah released the button on her radio, cutting her transmission. Dean sat next to her in the passenger seat of the surveillance van. Her laptop sat in front of her, giving her grainy visuals of the space from the bodycams attached to each agent inside. She glanced up at the building through the trees in the courtyard filling the distance between them and the front door. She noticed Dean watching Cas in a small square of video from one of the cameras.

“Dean…”

Dean brought his eyes up to her. Whether he knew that she had caught him watching or not, he didn’t give any indication one way or the other. He didn’t care. She sighed as she scanned over his face. The shadows around his eyes had grown darker since this morning and he had refused to eat for the last two days. He did not look well.

“Dean, I need to ask you something…”

            Dean turned in his seat to face her straight on, giving her the go ahead to continue. She took a deep breath.

            “Did you really love Cas?”

            Dean widened his eyes at the question. This was the first he had heard her call her brother anything other than the name printed on his birth certificate. Hannah was not the sentimental type and didn’t seem to be interested in anything regarding actual human emotions. It completely caught him off guard.

“I mean…was it always an act or were you truly in love him?” she clarified after he looked at her as if she had started speaking some alien language.

“I still love him,” Dean replied after a moment. “Granted, we probably would have never met if I hadn’t been given my assignment, but I never made an effort to hide myself from Cas. He seems to have that effect on me.”

Hannah glanced out the windshield to the skyscraper as if she were trying to look through it for her brother.

“Cas isn’t this person, you know. He isn’t a soldier, though he tries to be,” she explained. “He only ever joined he military because of our father.”

Dean listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt her.

“Our father abandoned us when I was eighteen. Cas was sixteen at the time. We had no money, no prospects whatsoever. The military was our only option for a clean bed and three meals a day. He was able to pass as an adult in order to be recruited,” Hannah said softly, still gazing out the windshield. “He had a natural talent, and he rose through the ranks quickly. We were both placed on Black Ops teams before the end of our first year, but he was number one.”

“Why did he leave?” Dean finally asked. The question had been nagging at him ever since he had learned Cas was in the military weeks ago.

Hannah glanced down at her hands and swallowed.

“There was an incident.”

Dean watched as she twisted her fingers together anxiously.

“We had an operation about seven years ago. We were to ambush a known terror group hiding in an underground bunker in Cairo. Cas was team leader,” she paused, closing her eyes in unspoken despair. “As we closed in on the room with our target, his young daughter stepped out into the hall in front of us. She couldn’t have been more than four years old.”

“Normally, she would have been hit with a tranquilizer and contained, but Castiel froze. Seeing her just made him stop…”

Hannah opened her eyes.

“She started screaming, which alerted the rest of the targets in the bunker of our presence. It immediately transformed into a war zone with a wave of shots coming from both sides. In the end, only two people originally in the bunker had survived, and our target escaped. The little girl had been hit through the back of the head, and Cas watched as she bled out on the floor, unable to reach her in the flurry of bullets. He watched her die.”

Hannah swallowed again. He voice was beginning to shake.

“He left shortly after that day. He couldn’t live with himself…he couldn’t forgive…he had too much heart…” she almost whispered. “I think too much heart was always Castiel's problem.”

She paused for a moment before continuing.

 “I had only seen Castiel a few times over the years after he left, but he wasn’t himself anymore. Some part of him never left that bunker.”

Hannah turned to Dean then, moisture was gathering in her eyes. The blue burned with an emotion she rarely let herself feel.

“I don’t know what you’ve done, Dean, but you’ve changed him,” she stated with an uneasy voice. “You brought him back…”

Her voice cracked and she took a deep breath to steady herself. Dean watched as she quickly wiped away a tear that escaped down her cheek.

“He still loves you, in spite of everything. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you,” she said softly. “He just needs time…”

Dean returned her intense gaze. The lump in his throat ached.

“Will he be okay, Hannah?” Dean asked, his own voice failing him.

Hannah stared into his eyes for a moment before answering.

“I don’t know,” was all she could answer. “I don’t know.”


	10. The Past Never Stays in the Past

Cas moved from room to room, confirming that each was, in fact, empty. He had split from his team in order to cover more ground more quickly. The time was nearing for the other team to seize the truck carrying the weapons. He climbed the stairs to the next floor, the top floor, and opened the door.

            A large open space spread out before him. There were no desks, no chairs, nothing but a short man standing at the wall-to-ceiling windows on the other side of the room, looking out into the lights of the city. The back of his head was covered in small, gray curls.

            “Hello, Castiel,” his voice pierced the silence. “I’m glad you came.”

            Cas kept the man within the crosshairs of his sight.

            “I have him.”

            “Excellent,” Hannah answered. “The other team has just informed me that they have the weapons in custody. Bring him in.”

            “Wilco.”

            Cas moved deeper into the room towards the other man.

            “It’s over, Metatron. We have the weapons. I’m here to bring you in,” he announced.

            “I don’t think you want to do that.”

            Castiel paused, waiting for him to explain.

            “I’ve waited for you for a long time, Castiel. I would hate for our time to be cut short.”

            Cas lowered his weapon slightly. He recognized that voice. It was a faint glimmer of a memory, but he knew. He knew that voice. Metatron turned to face him, and he felt his lungs collapse in his chest.

            “Don’t you recognize me, Castiel?” he smiled insidiously. “We have history, you and I.”

            Cas dropped his rifle, suddenly unable to operate his limbs. He couldn’t move. Metatron’s smile fell from his face.

            “You did kill my daughter, after all.”

            He laughed then, a horrible, evil laugh forced through his vocal cords.

            “I’m so glad that you’re finally here,” he said. “This has all been for you!”

            The photos Cas studied for the last few weeks were blurry to say the least, keeping Metatron’s face partially hidden. Standing before him now, however, there was no mistaking it. He was the target in Cairo. The one who had escaped. The father of the little girl. Cas cautiously moved deeper into the dark room, keeping his eyes locked on the other man.

            “What do you want with me?” he asked.

            Metatron laughed again.

            “Oh, don’t be so modest! You know you’ve always been my favorite,” he replied. “That’s why I sent you Dean, my other favorite. He was a little difficult, though, wasn’t he? A little clingy.”

           Cas winced at the name passing through his lips. He wanted to knock the words right back into his mouth.

            “That boy just could not do what he was told without a little…encouragement.”

            “I thought he was taking the lead, taking the initiative,” Cas inserted.

            Metatron shook his head and began pacing in front of the window.

            “Nope, he only did that because he knew what would happen to his precious Sammy if he didn’t,” he explained with a sneer.

            Cas watched him pace for several minutes.

            “I have a surprise for you, Castiel.”

            “What’s that?”

            Metatron beckoned Cas to him with his finger. Cas gripped the handle of the knife strapped to his leg as he came near.

            “Oh, come on, don’t be shy! It’s a good one!” the man smiled excitedly.

            Cas joined him at the window. The dark expanse of city stretched out before them, speckled heavily with lights. The faint kiss of dawn was brightening the clear sky above.

            “Look, there,” Metatron pointed down towards the courtyard.

            At first, Cas couldn’t see exactly what he was pointing at in the darkness, but then he saw it—the surveillance van.

            “Do you know what it’s like to lose someone you love, Castiel? To have them taken from you?” Metatron asked in a low voice. “It feels as if your soul is being torn from your body and ripped into pieces.”

            Castiel’s heart thumped in his chest as he watched the van. Suddenly, he felt the other man grab the small device from his ear. Before Cas could stop him, he threw it to the ground and smashed it with his foot.

            “Now you can’t warn them—Dean and Hannah.”

            Realization spread across Castiel’s face as he turned back to the window. Just as he laid his eyes on the van, it erupted into a cloud of smoke and flame with a loud boom. The force of the explosion lifted it high into the air, and it landed hard against the pavement when it returned to the ground. No one could have survived such a blast.

            “NOOOOO!” Cas cried out as he slammed his hands against the window. “NOOOO!”

            Metatron laughed over his cries, taking joy in his pain.

            “Can you feel it, Cas? Can you feel your soul being ripped out?” he giggled.

            Cas turned to him then. Rage filled his chest and welled up into his throat. His vision went red. He tackled Metatron hard against the window. The glass gave way under the impact and its shards rained down on them as they fell to the narrow ledge just outside the window.

            “You can, can’t you, Cas?! You can feel it!”

            From below, the other teams mobilized after the explosion. The commanding officer on the ground looked up as glass began to hit the pavement. He spotted the two figures on the ledge above.

            “Get the air bag!” he shouted his order. “Get it inflated!”

            On the ledge, Cas wrapped his fingers tightly around Metatron’s throat. The man’s laugh managed to escape the pressure of his hands.

            “Feel it, Cas! This was all for you!” he squeaked.

            “I’LL KILL YOU!” Cas screamed into the crisp air.

            Metatron’s smile widened.

            “Not if I tag you first.”

            Cas stared down at him in confusion, then felt pain rip through his body. The epicenter of the sensation originated from the soft area in the middle of his torso just below his ribcage. He immediately released his grip and sat up. A long silver blade slipped from the fresh wound in his torso. It shimmered crimson with gore.

            “You’re it!” Metatron cackled.

            Cas fell back on his heels and pressed his hands against the hole in his body. Blood spilled out over his fingers. His vision began to blur. Metatron stood up and brushed the chips of glass from his shirt. He then walked behind Cas, and leaned down close to his ear.

            “I want you to think about my little girl on your way down,” he whispered.

            He grabbed Cas under his arms and heaved him up to his feet. He spun him around to face him. Castiel’s head lolled around on his neck.

            “Feel your pain and think of her.”

            With one last smirk, he shoved Cas back through the broken window. The next few seconds flew by so quickly time seemed to move in slow motion. The room inched away from him, and Metatron grew smaller and smaller. The wind slithered up his back and through his hair. His feet were no longer touching solid ground. He looked up at the sky. It was turning a faint pink and light blue under the warmth of dawn. Clouds slipped by and the rooftops of skyscrapers came into view. His eyes followed the long line of windows down, down, down. He felt as though he were floating in space, nothing within reach to ground him. Pain no longer filled his body. He was numb.

Cas then looked up at Metatron, who stood in the open hole in the building, a wide smile stretched across his face. In what seemed like an eternity, he raised his hand and gave him a small wave. Cas smiled back at him and reached his arm up towards Metatron. He pointed his fist to him and slowly uncurled his fingers. A small, metal ring and pin floated up away from his reach. Metatron’s face fell once he realized what he released.

Before he could react, a large explosion erupted from the room, blasting out the remaining windows and shooting out a billowing cloud of fire. The shockwave ripped through Cas, forcing him down faster. He smiled wider and accepted the violent push. Down, down, down…

“Hurry!” came a shout from the ground. “He’s falling!”

“Sir! Sir, it’s not going to inflate in time!”

The teams on the ground froze and watched the figure falling from the building in horror. They stood, helpless. Cas closed his eyes against the bright sunlight that peaked out through the canyon of upside down buildings. He stretched out his arms like wings. He was flying. Down, down, down…

_I’m coming home to you, Dean._

Down, down, down…

_I’ll see you when I get there._

And the blackness engulfed him.


	11. Heaven Can Wait

Pain. All he could feel was pain. Every square-inch of his body felt broken and bruised. His ribcage seemed to crack and separate into pieces every time he breathed.  _Wait._ He breathed. He was breathing. Cas struggled against the veil of sleep over him. He grew more and more aware himself like his spirit was returning to his body.  _I’m breathing._

            His eyelids fluttered open to a thick haze of light and color. He heard something beeping next to him in a steady beat. A heartbeat. _His_ heartbeat.

            “Cas?” the voice echoed as if he were in a tunnel.

            He blinked a few times to clear his vision. Slowly, the blobs of color in front of him came into focus. He blinked again. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

            He stared up into his eyes of such a rich green like the spring that pushes its way through piles of gritty snow to touch the sun and buds on the small branches of young trees. They glowed like a meadow on a summer day and deepened like a forest at sunset. They were the color of life.

            “Dean?” Cas croaked. His throat burned white-hot.

            “Cas.”

            The skin around Dean’s eyes was pink and puffy. He had been crying. He sat next to him on the hospital bed, making sure to miss the various tubes and wires hooked up to his lover. He leaned in close and reached down to stroke his fingers through his hair.

Cas gazed up at him. The sensation of his fingers weaving through his hair immediately soothed him. He must be dreaming—or dead. An aching lump welled up in his throat and hot tears burned at his eyes. He grabbed Dean’s hand.  

            “You’re alive…” he whispered, his voice shaking. He pressed his cheek against Dean’s palm as tears spilled over his cheeks. “I watched you…you…”

            “Hannah moved us, Cas,” Dean explained softly, gently running his thumb over his cheek. “She suspected that Metatron would have his own men watching us. She was right, but we were never really in danger. She moved us before you even reached the top floor.”

            Cas gripped his hand tighter, determined to never let it go ever again. He thanked Hannah over and over in his head. _Thank you for keeping him safe._

            “Then, I watched you fall from the building, Cas. It’s the most horrifying feeling in the world to see that and not be able to do anything…to be so helpless,” Dean murmured. Fresh tears began to stream down his face. “The airbag on the ground was inflated just enough to save you. You broke a few bones and lost a lot of blood from your wound, but you’re alive. Sore, but alive.”

            Dean nestled his nose into Castiel’s hair and rested his lips on the top of his head. He gently hugged him closer to his chest and breathed in his scent. Castiel’s body then began to shake slightly from his sobs.

            “Dean, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered, bringing his eyes up to meet him. “I’m so sorry for not listening, for pushing you away…”

            “Shh, Cas, please…I’m sorry for not telling you the truth about me…” Dean responded quietly. “I never lied to you about how I feel, though. Never.”

            Cas closed his eyes in bliss to the sound of his voice. He nuzzled his cheek against Dean’s chest, thanking God for the warmth and soft beat thumping against his ear. It was the most wonderful sound in the world. It gave him a reason to live.            

            “I knew you’d come back…” Dean murmured.

            “How?” Cas asked, his ear still pressed against his chest.

            Dean pulled away just enough to look down at Cas. He smiled brightly through his tears.

            “Because you promised me that you would.”

            A warm smile spread across Castiel’s face.

            “I love you, Dean,” he whispered.

            Dean cupped his face in his palm and gently wiped away the tears on his cheeks with his thumb.

            “I love you, Cas.”

            And he pressed his lips against Cas’ in a soft, warm kiss.

 

 

*          *            *            *

           

It began slowly with Dean only leaving a trail of tender touches and soft kisses over the sensitive skin of Castiel’s wounded torso. Splashes of light purple and yellow covered his body, indicative of his bruises healing during the weeks he spent in the hospital. This was the first night back in his own bed. Dean continued to kiss down his torso, cherishing every bit of him with the brush of lips. He kissed the pink, puffy scar just below his ribcage. He then lifted his head to gaze down at Cas as he towered over him, a hand on either side. According to the doctor, Cas was still too broken for vigorous activity, but that didn’t stop him. It never did.

With a wince, Cas lifted himself onto his elbows and reached up to catch Dean’s mouth with his lips. Dean parted his lips, letting Cas' tongue slide inside. He cupped Cas’ cheek gently in the palm of his hand and moaned hungrily into the kiss, grinding his hard, exposed cock against Cas.

Cas licked into Dean’s mouth and came down to nibble his bottom lip. It felt so nice. He paused briefly to look up at him. A smile crept across his face as pure happiness emanated from Dean. His lover grinded harder against him as he felt the hard swell of Castiel’s cock nudging him, desperate for touch. Dean then climbed up to straddle his hips. Castiel sucked in a sharp breath as his sore body protested, which caused Dean to hesitate, but he wrapped his fingers around Dean’s thick shaft in encouragement. The band of silver on Castiel’s ring finger pressed into the sensitive flesh. Dean nearly melted at the touch.

Cas rolled his hips upwards and Dean mimicked his movements. They moved against each other slowly, their bodies growing warmer and warmer. Dean then lifted himself off of Cas just enough to position Castiel’s cock at his entrance. With practiced ease, he pressed back against it and slid down around the thick shaft.

“Fuck,” Cas hissed, his breathing heavy.

He relished the sight of Dean sitting on top of him with his hard cock slick with precome. Dean eased his hips forward and back at a slow pace, taking care not to hurt Cas. His lover, however, had other thoughts. Cas sat up, making Dean gasp as he drove himself deeper into him. He rested his hand against the middle of his back to keep him close, and bit and sucked at his neck. Dean tightened around him and moaned when Cas nibbled at his earlobe. His cock twitched against Cas’ torso as he pressed up against it.

Cas then brought his lips back to Dean’s. He pressed his tongue into his mouth, and then paused to let him breathe before pushing in deeper. Dean moaned against his lips. He rolled his hips forward and back and gripped Castiel’s hair tightly in his hand, kissing him deep and slow. He slid up and down onto Cas, stroking him with his movements. Cas whimpered as waves of pleasure washed over him. His breaths grew quicker, and Cas buried his head into Dean’s neck, skimming his teeth across his collarbone.

“Ah!” Dean cried out as Cas grazed his sweet spot.

_Fuck!_ Cas loved that sound. He thrust his hips up again and again, drawing the same inhuman utterance from his lover each time. He growled at the sensation of Dean squeezing him as he slid up and down around him. His head bowed, and he bit down hard on Dean’s chest, eliciting a yelp from his lover.

Dean’s stared down at him through his lashes. The chartreuse of his eyes burned bright with lust. He pushed Castiel back onto the bed and planted a hand in the middle of his chest to keep him down. Cas gripped Dean’s thighs with his hands and drove up into him. Dean moaned loudly and began gyrating his hips down onto Cas. He was merciless, rough, riding Castiel as his lover pounded into him, making him cry out with each brutal thrust. He met Cas’ thrusts with as much of his own force as he could muster, pulling him in deeper. Heat coursed though his veins, scorching him from the inside out. His orgasm loomed, just out of reach.

Cas squeezed Dean’s thighs tight enough to leave marks on his skin. He then managed to pull one hand away to grasp Dean’s neglected cock. Dean let a deep groan escape his throat. His touch was rough as he stroked him, working in time with his thrusts.

 Dean pushed himself back against Cas’ cock as he slammed down onto him. He arched his back and pressed his throbbing cock hard into Cas’ hand. Dean then began to lose himself in the motion of it, the overwhelming sensations, and he moaned as Cas drove into him, mad with lust.

“Cas!” he cried out as he spilled out onto Castiel’s torso. The force of his orgasm blurred his vision and made his head spin. Cas followed him over the edge, filling him with hot come as his muscles tensed and fluttered.

Dean then collapsed down onto Cas, suddenly extremely weak. Their chests heaved from the exertion of their lovemaking and the sweat began to cool from their skin. As soon as he gained enough strength, Dean lifted himself from Cas, letting him slip out gently. He lay down next to him and tucked himself in close to his side. Cas wrapped his arms tightly around him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean caught the spark of moonlight being reflected from the band of silver on Cas’ ring finger. He rubbed his thumb over it affectionately and smiled, knowing that the band matched his own.

“I love you, Cas,” he whispered.

Cas squeezed him tighter and rested his cheek against the top of his head.

“I love you, Dean. Always.” 


End file.
